Iyanla Calls Black Women Out For Being Reckless!

by / May 28, 2014 video 47 Comments

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Iyanla Vanzant is a widely recognized spiritual teacher, author, and inspirational speaker.  She is most known for her self help books, talk show, and frequent appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show.  Vanzant was born in Brooklyn, New York, and her given name was Rhonda Eva Harris.  She changed her name to Iyanla after being initiated as a Yoruba priestess.

Vanzant’s story is one that hits home for a number of black women.  Vanzant lost her mother at age 3, was sexually abused by relatives, had her first child at 16 and three children by age 21, and survived abusive relationships.  She spent time on welfare, but began her rise above the ashes by putting herself through Medgar Evers College and then law school.  Her initial break came when she wrote a workbook for women trying to get off of welfare.

Since then, Vanzant’s career has largely been based on helping women overcome the same struggles she has triumphed over.  She has written several books and also hosted the Emmy-winning television reality show, “Starting Over,” which aimed to help women break the cycles of poverty, addiction, and dysfunction.

In the following video clip, Vanzant talks about black women being “out of order” for having children out of wedlock and for behaving in unacceptable ways.  She also feels that black women are wrong for the way some “dishonor, betray, and defile one another.”  The video explores how Vanzant believes that ghosts of the past haunt black women through negative attitudes and detrimental behavior.

The video has generated a wide range of reaction from shock and outrage to acknowledgement of truth.  Vanzant hopes the information will lead to an evolution in the way black women perceive themselves and how they treat each other.  To hear more about what Vanzant has to say about self-esteem, respect for other women, and female empowerment, watch the video below:

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47 Comment

  1. You are right, I am in full agreement. I see this pattern and behavior all over my neighborhood. With the daughters of my friends, And in the 21 Century there is no excuse for being pregnant, out of wedlock and in poverty..Condoms are free at most walkin clinics …and being pregnant is the least of it…The possibility of having HIV/AIDS, and all the other STD's..is worst. It keeps our Diaspora community in ignorance and poverty…it perpetuates the issue. STOP HAVING SEX WILLY NILLY…..it disgust me that this is still happening. Its an embarrassment to us as a people and its the scar that keeps others from accepting us in the mainstream. I simply hate this…

  2. I absolutely cherish and respect the sophistication, elegance and wisdom that Iyanla brings to the world. What a wonderful woman.

  3. Excellent!!!! Great Video….
    I haven’t lived in an atmosphere / neighborhood as such since high school, but even then it wasn’t out of control like it is today.
    There was only one or two girls in the neighborhood having babies and my mom never ever allowed me and my sister to interact with them. The other girls / all blood sisters lived in another neighborhood were all pregnant by their father. Some girls pregnant by their mothers boyfriends, it just endless. So Iyanla Vanzant: Although I do totally agree with “EVERYTHING” YOU SAID IN YOUR VIDEO…. you need to address the deeper issue concerning exactly where these negative behaviors in our black-women are coming from. As long as the beastly dark filthy dark issues stay “HIDDEN AWAY” and not addressed due to shame in these women these things will continue to happen in our black communities because the selfesteem of these women and children has been masscred / no healing has taken place in their lives and it has become a growing curse. Women he use to be little girls have also been damaged by not having a father in the home. This is not a one-sided story. You “MUST” cover all angles not just the dirty cream that shows on the top of the muffin… hummm…

  4. Stop ignoring the deep underling issues of these grown women who use to be little girls. The answers to the solutions are: what happened to the mothers of these women when the mothers were just little girls. It is there you will find the villian… Precious

  5. It pi$$es me off when somebody open up wounds but they don’t wanna disinffect the total wound cause your afraid of what might be exposed. I hear grissly stores everyday and everyday I’m just as amazed as I was the day before. Love & Hip Hop New York is a prime example… That show pi$$es me off totally, the young women are lost and being exposed 100% with those d@mn no-good men. Anytime you allow a man to miss-treat you in any mannor and you continue to allow him in your life: *you have some mental illness issues from deep within that need to be address before healing can even start…

    That’s like pulling a child to safety who has been shot by a bullet, give them surgery, give them physical therapy and then throw their azzes back out there into the flying bullets again plezzz…. but yall don’t hear me though…. Mediocre People

  6. It is extremely disheartening to witness the way in which OUR women surgically alter themselves to meet the ‘requirements’ of men who could care less about their physical, emotional or spiritual well-being!!! We ARE valuable and serve purposes in other ways than just being sexual targets.

    Likewise, my mind is blown by the mutual hate that we show each other, woman to woman, when we are ALL fighting the same life battle on a daily basis as Black women. When will it end? We are all equally righteous and beautiful in unique ways. When will we embrace those mutual commonalities???

    • @Candi….
      I read your post a couple days ago, sorry I’m just now getting back to you about it. Its a great post and you are so right ontime about every last word you said.

      To Corbin & Reaper….
      Back the fuk-off this sister. Both of you brain-dead heathens know d@mn well there is nothing negative at all about Candi’s post. You 2 azz-holes are just looking for a reason to start a war. Are you not educated enough to actually understand what this woman is saying? Are we dealing with 2 d@mn fools / aka: blackmen with sissi-fied unstable doublestandards again!!!!

      You two sound fkn rediculious….

      Corbin and Reaper….

  7. Why doesn’t this one hip, wide bottom dump truck just shut the heck up???

    • I have a better idea. Why don’t You?

  8. @Candi—– there you go with the BS you’ve been fed by whites—-You’re hating on the Black man (automatically pointing your finger at us men)
    when in fact YOU decided to look more white, more pressed with fake hair and such in order to fit into their world. You’ve been told, uplifted and have been given opportunities which tell you, you are better thn your men….you gladly ate the BS they spoon fed you—-cuase you know: You don’t need a man because you;re strong and independent. Well, I would rather be with a woman who knows her strengths than a womaan like that for that is what a realtionship is about—-each others strengths—–BUT HEY: YOU CAN’T SEE WHAT I’M SAYING BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED TO BELIEVE OTHERWISE

    • @reaper…

      Per your own words: You’ve been told, uplifted and have been given opportunities which tell you, you are better thn your men….you gladly ate the BS they spoon fed you—-cuase you know: You don’t need a man because you;re strong and independent…

      Its so fkn sad how a “GREAT MANY”, but not all blackmen think with the mentality of a “SERPANT SNAKE” concerning good strong positive blackwomen. Do you guys really know how jealous and envious you guys sound when you start talking shyt like that against “POSITIVE PROGRESS”….

      Not all black-women fit yall’s funky-azz profile, and just let me keep it real for yo blind azz… No matter what struggles the black-women are having right now / “WE ARE STILL WINNING THE BATTLES / WITH OR WITHOUT THE BLACK-MAN” and you can take those words to the white-mans bank and cash in on it with all your other “PENNIES” everytime yall azzes walk thru the d@mn doors of the bank.

  9. "It's the scar that keeps others from accepting us in mainstream" It's more complicated than that, but having a cohesive, well mannered family unit will help keep our children safer and stronger.

    • @Shenandoah….
      Your post is great… straight to the point and so much said with so few words. @Julia and Anonymous both post are gratifying and totally on point.

      The deepest hurt is caused by mainstream exceptance, African Americans who are caught up into so much self-hate unforgiveness, perfectionist perpertraters, one without sin cast the first stone… its endless mad-street, but have no realization that God is watching ever heart of man…. Judgement is here to stay.

  10. Except by the grace of God there go I. My sister Aisha is right. We who are your mothers let you down. We told you to do as I say and not as I do. Many of my generation were out of order. Husband first children after. That is why this present age of children and young adults not all are they way the are. Backwards is still backwards. Big Momma has let all of these young women down. For that I Am Sorry.

  11. The title places the blame all on women. Women cannot get pregnant by themselves. It takes two to make a child and both parties are responsible. Moreover, women having children out of wedlock did not just start in the 21st century; it is an age-old problem with generational cycles.
    Life is a journey filled with choices. Each individual has a different upbringing, a different life experience, a different story, and a different path. Nonetheless, women must protect their bodies, their minds and their destiny by putting GOD FIRST instead of men.

  12. African Americans don’t wanna except or talk about how deep the blackwomens scares go that are caused by our great-grandmothers, grandmothers and mother’s living in bad relationships and marriages with abusive blackmen. Its called learned behavior / Co-Dependent behavior that is continuely recycled through the generations because of fear and shame to address (mainstream rejection)..

  13. We are being killed off by our own people…

  14. Here is what my dumb ass girlfriend said about this article – "but still, God is on the throne". I wont even say anything more.

    • She’s right so go back to CCC…wink!

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