Is Emotional Abuse As Bad As Physical?

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5050b1a955416.imageBy Lechette Walker

Emotional abuse has not gotten much attention lately, but it is as important today as ever. This type of abuse has been demoted in the media while primary attention is on physical abuse.  An anonymous lady wrote in to Demetria Lucas, “Ask Demetria” on The Roots, to get advice on how to break free from an emotionally draining and daunting relationship.

“My boyfriend’s best friend died last month, and my boyfriend has been threatening me like s–t ever since. I know he’s going through hard times and he’s in pain, but it’s getting really humiliating for me in front of our son and friends.

I would have moved ages ago if my son’s safety was endangered, but it’s not. It’s more about the way my boyfriend acts and talk to me, weakening my mental strength but not hurting me physically. I just love my family and I care so much about them. I cannot be OK if my boyfriend is not. He is really down and I am trying to help him out. My mental strength will be fine. Don’t worry about it. What can I do for him?” —Anonymous

Demetria started by explaining that she does not deserve to be emotionally discounted for anyone.  She further brings in the fact that as a woman, we must know our worth and our place. We are capable of taking care of ourselves, and looking out for our future without dealing with a partner that threatens our existence.

Demetria also recommends that he seeks professional attention, and if he does not want help; it is best for her to take a good look at her situation. This evaluation may require moving, or even going to a safe place until time has lapsed and it is obvious that things are safe.

This situation is common within the community. I know that we all ask the question, could I be in that position now? If you are unsure of your current relationship, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Does my partner humiliate or yell at me in front of people or even alone?

2. Does my partner put down my opinions or accomplishments?

3.  Does he/she ignore you for long periods of time?

If you said yes to one of the questions above, you might need to contact a counselor, life coach, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Sources:  theroot

3 Comment

  1. Actually, having been in an abusive relationship for 14 years that was physical, and emotional abuse. I would say that emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse.

    Physical abuse will hurt for the episode and may bruise but the scars will disappear and the pain will go away but in the case of emotional abuse…words cut to the soul straight to the heart and mess with the mind. Most women stay in abusive relationships because their self-esteem get so battered by emotional abuse that they feel defenseless and hopeless and are at the mercy of their abuser.

    Emotional abuse can stay with a person forever long after the beating is over and the scars have healed. Emotional abuse will creep in your dreams and be rehearsed in your mind unless you actually do something to reverse the process and most don’t and they are plagued with flashbacks that roll over into future relationships with everyone.

  2. Emotional abuse is terrible and overlooked. I found myself 9 years deep in an abusive relationship and didn’t realize what I was dealing with until the physical violence began in the last year of the relationship.

    If I was better acquainted with what emotional abuse was, I would have been able to get out sooner. I also believe it has a much longer standing impact on the victim because his words echo in my mind long after I have left him. That’s the stuff that will wake me up on a random night and leave me crying for hours and thinking I can’t do it on my own and I’d be nothing without him.

  3. this form of abuse will always be undervalued…because in this area women can be equally viewed as abusive without them being able to hide their physical inferiority in respect to abusive relationships,women have been getting away with abuse for years

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