Tyler Perry Writes Letter to Friend Having Issues with His Father: Try to Understand His Struggle
Tyler Perry is a lot of things, but a few things that most people know about him is that he is famous and incredibly rich. They also know that he enjoys putting out products that push a message of faith, family and forgiveness. This is a message that appears to resonate in his personal life as well, since Perry is constantly making headlines for giving money to important causes and helping people when they are in need.
Perry released an open letter that he wrote to a friend who was having trouble with a father who wasn’t there. Perry’s message appears to be one that encourages the man to let go of his anger and to focus on understanding his father as a person. Most pain is intergenerational, passed from one person to the next and people don’t always take the time to try and understand the sources of that pain.
Perry might have a good point. It seems that many of us get so caught up in our own selfish reactions to our disappointment that we are unable to empathize with those who are distributing the pain in our direction. So, Perry’s message of forgiveness might be good for all of us.
You can read the letter below, it came from Perry’s Facebook page:
A LETTER TO A FRIEND
I wrote this note privately to a friend of mine whose father has never been there for him. Even though he’s not a kid anymore and is a husband and soon to be a father himself, he’s still being affected by it. I told him I would share it with you because I know that there are millions of you in this same situation. I used to be there too. Here’s what I wrote to him.
Your dad is getting older and facing his mortality. He’s going to become a different man soon. In life, we all become different people. At 20, you’re not the same person you are at 50, and if you are, something is wrong. We are built to evolve. Life is an oven that will incubate us into change. Most times it’s for the better, although there are some people that are so resistant to it that sometimes they won’t change. But if he remains the same that’s ok too.
My challenge to you my friend is to start looking at your father like a person. Not the man you see but the boy he was, how he grew up, what he went through. Realize that just like you have had, he has had his own life, pain, heartbreak, struggles, secrets, disappointments and sadness. In other words, he had a life and a story long before you were born and in that life he wasn’t given the tools to be what you needed him to be.
As a parent your job is to help your child pack a suitcase for this journey called life. Just like when you go on a trip you pack everything you need. This is the same thing. You must help that child pack love, faith, confidence, patience, joy, hope, how to give love, how to accept it, faith and God. All these things and so much more should be in that suitcase and if they aren’t, that child is going to have a tough life. Find out what’s in your father’s suitcase. It will help you understand. What’s in his suitcase is not an excuse for the way he treats you, but it is a part of your understanding of him.
I know he’s a closed door and I know you don’t know much about him, but if he won’t tell you then maybe there is a family member on his side of the family that can tell you his story. His past is important in understanding your present. Do you understand? At any rate, I don’t care who or what he is. I’m just glad he was used to bring such a great and awesome soul to this world, whether he will ever know it or not. I thank him for that. I thank him for you. I love you my friend.