4 Things Young Black Women Should Remember When Dating

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By: Madam Prezident


70% of African American women are unmarried. Although that’s a large amount of unmarried black folk—it’s a harsh reality. Being an African American woman currently on the dating scene, I noticed a few mistakes that we as women make when meeting someone new. These mistakes are the top 4 things that keep us single.

1)    Clingy

Stop being clingy—if you are the clingy type, then stop. It’s not a bad thing to desire the presence of someone you like, but when you are forcing your connection oppose to allowing it to take it’s natural course, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. I am a strong believer that we all make time for the people and things that are important to us. If you think you need to be clingy to keep his interest, then it’s apparent he’s not that interested in you.


2)    Expectations

Have clear expectations when you meet someone new. If you are looking to date long-term, short-term or you’re just “kickin’ it“—take the time to let the prospective dater know. One of our biggest mistakes as women is our inability to be “straight up“.  When a man is solely interested in you sexually, he doesn’t hesitate to tell you. Having clear expectations will save you a lot of time, and from long pointless dates.


3)    Don’t Date Potential

For some reason, black women like to date men who have the potential of being a good, employed, or strong man. This kind of behavior needs to stop. You don’t walk on a car lot to purchase a dependable car, and allow the dealer to show you a non-operable car—telling you it has the potential to run.  If you work full time and you want your man to work full time then date a man who has a job.  If you’re a Christian woman who wants a church going man, then don’t meet the guy at the club and pray he desires to attend church—date the brother at the church. We have to date a man’s reality not his potential.


4)    Do Not Have Sex on the 1st Date

If you’re not looking for a relationship that is solely sexual, then don‘t start the relationship off with sex.  I’m sure it’s been a while since you’ve had “some“, and you’re probably in orgasmic hiatus, but don’t be desperate and careless by being sexually active with a man that you barely know. Many women like to use the philosophy of being a “grown woman” who can handle sexual intercourse without any attachment as their justification for sleeping with men expeditiously. In actually it’s a lie. I do not believe it is humanly possible for a woman to have anything on the inside of her and not be attached. God did not create us that way. If you want something more than sex, then don’t make sex the foundation of your relationship. In other words, make him wait.

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