The (Ree)lationship Guide: Is A Woman With Children ‘Marriage Material’?
Photography by NHOPHOTOS.com
by Ree, “The (Ree)lationship Guide”
South African columnist Khaya Dlanga wrote a column revealing that men between the ages of 18-35 will not marry a woman with children — even if he has children of his own.
Dlanga wrote, “Now, before you chew my head off, I know that there are some guys who have married women who have children with another man – sometimes women with children not from just one man. Interestingly, women will marry a guy with as many children from as different women as Steve Hofmeyr.” He continued, “The hypocrisy of the whole situation is that women don’t have the problem that men have. They will marry a guy with a child without much pause (yes, I am aware of the generalisation I am making. Women are more likely to have no problem with marrying a guy with a child than guys.)”
Dlanga says his column was inspired by a Facebook status he posted that asked women how they felt about guys who won’t marry them because they have a child by another man. “I did not anticipate the debate that would go on the page,” Dlanga wrote. ”Men were in general agreement that they were unlikely to marry a woman with a child. The women were horrified.” Dlanga indicated that widows are an exception to the rule because there is no competition with the man. “Widows on the other hand are a different story. A lot of guys would consider marrying one because the woman won’t have “two” men in her life to deal with. There will be no politics with the father. There will just be a child that is one’s own now. The issue is never really about the child. It is about the father who still roams the streets,” he wrote.
Dlanga continued to write that the issue is not with the child itself, the issue is with men not wanting to ‘compete’ with other men. “There is a lot of ego involved. Logic does not apply to ego. The ego has its own rules. The ego wants what it wants in whatever way it wants it. And that’s that.,” he wrote. Dlanga offered a suggestion to women. “Since women are the ones who are often left with the burden of responsibility [of raising a child], I think that women should be extra vigilant about who gets into her pants with no rubber.”
So, men will you marry a woman who has children by another man who is still alive? Why or why not?
Ree “The REE-lationship Guide” is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com. Follow her Twitter: @iDateDaily Questions, comments, and/or concerns can be addressed to Ree via email at TheREElationshipGuide@gmail.com
Ree "The (REE)lationship Guide" is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com.
I could marry a woman who has a child, maybe two, but is she has a whole tribe of them, I CANT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!
I still see a double standard in this. I had a bad relationship once with a divorced father and his daughter by his marriage and it turned me off to ever marrying anyone with young children to support.It was not the money but rather the child’s attitude towards me. Since I am single and never had children I did nor do I not feel that Ii have to tolerate this situation.I further think more thought needs to go into having a child on the male as well as the female’s side.I feel sorry for the children that are used as a wedge to punish the parent of them. Do they need support? Of course they do. It is not punishment in and of itself but a necessary reality of today’s world. Ladies possession is 9/10th of the law.You carry it in your body and it is really your baby.Make sure you can care for it as it needs to be cared for or leave parenthood alone!!