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im back, so wipe the crust out ya eyes!…lol
DISCLAIMER: these posts are not in any form intended to step on any toes. These are merely my thoughts, experiences, and actions put into words hopefully to reach someone in similar situations.
My poor lil brain is always in overdrive over a topic or hundred per day such as: What WAS the best thing before sliced bread? Why would a wood chuck chuck wood? What exactly IS chucking? aaaand it goes on and on and on and…well you get the point. I’m always thinking of what ifs, why nots, and how dare you’s all while trying to keep a straight face and not burst into a kjsdfbijudfbaFIT!
One particular topic that baffles me often is the whole “single woman, married man” sitcheeashun.
Some say convenience, some say no responsability, no accountability, power, etc… I can’t help but wonder how any of this could be chicken soup for the soul. Real Life Speaking: I almost (Almost as in it never left my brain space! ) stepped off in that deep blue sea when I was single a couple years back. Not for any of the reasons mentioned above for mine were quite dumb to say the least. Almost equivalent to traveling all over the world, eating exotic foods or making a bucket list. It just adds to your list of things you’ve done. Dumb, I was so dumb, like really really dumb. But I didnt so it just makes really dumb…no difference huh, yeah i thought so.
Here’s where mine eyes wereth opened: He was very adament about letting him take me out, buy me things, show me a “new” way of living all the while ensuring his wife would never find out. Trips, money, and errthang in between….um *coughs* literally. Says me and the wifey will never cross paths…EVER. To some basic chick (me mentally at the time) this would have been some “high ho silver awaaaaay” opportunity for them. But me wanting to be dumb for the “experience” forgot to shut off the intellectual, thought-provoking side of my brain and started asking questions.
First off, I’m a Leo, i aint coming second to no one ( and yes I’m rolling my neck and snapping my fingers three times in a circle on that one!), whether I cross their paths or not. Wasn’t that desperate for a date nor will I ever be. There has to be a serious mental suicide to make yourself comfy with the position of “be quiet, stay silent, only MY schedule works”. AAAAANNNNNYYYY HOOOO….
Convo went a lil sumn like dis here:
Question 1: So, since talking about your wife makes you sad, is she deceased? You’re still wearing your ring.
Dumb Answer: Yeah, it makes me sad. She’s still alive we have a house together.
Question 2: Oh, cool. So when are you moving out/getting a divorce since you’re so sad and its not gonna work out?
Dumb Answer: Oh well, um, er uh, I’m not. We have kids together and I want to be there for my sons.
Question 3: So what are you gonna tell your sons when they have marital issues? Go out, find someone new, live a double life, never own up to the real issues of your marriage?
Dumb Answer: You ask alot of questions…
Swiper NOOOOOOOOOO swiping!
Yeah I know you’re thinking, sheesh Eb you entertained that foolishness for a long time! Yeah well blame it on my wanting to know. Curiosity is horrible and if I have the chance to chit chat with Mr. Ed himself well gosh darnit I’m gonna do it!
This is only ONE situation. But the common craziness in all of it is that they defend wearing their ring saying that “at least they’re being honest”. Call me crazy (and many people do) but that to me seems like a serious slap in the face to the wife at home slaving and putting up with his crap. The devestating part is the women (who are putting the rest of us in danger) who agree to be on the sideline will then in a few days, weeks, months, or even years (for the the pros) will begin to wonder why ALL men are cheaters? Well ma’am glad ya asked for you see all men are not cheaters. What you fail to realize is that men pay oodles of attention to women they’re interested in and take note of such things: attire, conversation, hair, make up, types of guys you hang around, how you handle yourself around women and men, etc. If they notice that you’re the “down for whatever” chick, dating maried men is exciting to you, and you dont question about anything, then all you’ll have following up behind you will be more married no good men up to no good. Make sense?
Now, what slaps my face where I have to go check myself is: do i come off as a female that would fall for this mess? Am I wearing the unofficial scent of “the other woman?” Are my facial expressions too inviting to these men? Do I need to change my soap? Go from Dove to Degree? Cocoa Butter to Aveeno? IDK ya’ll but I start evaluating and FAST!
Don’t have me to get Antoine Dodson after you…he gone find you!
If you or someone you love is dealing with the thought or the actual situation of dating a married man out of convenience and luxuries and would like for them to come in to speak with some highly regarded karate experts just call the number on your screen below…
Not a fan of gold bans with side fans
Besitos y Brazos