The (Ree)lationship Guide: 5 Common Characteristics of the ‘Side Chic’

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Side Chic

Photography by NHOPHOTOS; Chicago, IL

by Ree, “The (Ree)lationship Guide”

We all know at least one woman (young and old) who has carried on an affair with a man who is already in a relationship with someone else. These women are usually discreet about the affair unless a large sum of money becomes available. The “side chic”, i.e. woman helping carry out an affair, is one of two of the most selfish persons living- the other selfish person is the man committing adultery, of course.  Her greatest skill is manipulating men to get what she wants for her own benefit. She doesn’t care who she hurts in the act- even if it means hurting the man who is cheating on his significant other with her. Below are 5 common characteristics of  a “side chic”:

1. Arrogance

The side chic has no shame in being the “other” woman. She actually exudes pride in being able to distract a man from his significant other and may brag about it to her friends.

2. Greed

The side chic wants it all and some. She doesn’t care how many people she has to hurt or inconvenience to achieve her goals. The moment you decide to stop feeding her infinite appetite, she’ll replace you.

3. Charm

The side chic is charming. She knows how to spark and maintain conversation. She’s attentive and shows compassion in your conversation. She appears to have the potential to be a great friend, but the more you get to know her, the more you’ll realize she isn’t.

4. Sex Appeal

There’s a very thin line between exuding sexiness and exuding sex. The side chic is capable of crossing the line when appropriate. She uses sex appeal to get what she wants from men.

5. Loyalty- At First

The side chic is very convincing in showing you she’s loyal. She’ll go the extra mile to prove to you that she appreciates being a part of your life (e.g. cooking dinner for you, lying to your significant other about the extent of you all’s “friendship”, buying you gifts at random, etc.), but you’ll soon realize how quickly she loses her interest in you when you don’t provide her what she wants and when she wants it.


Ree “The (REE)lationship Guide” is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com. Follow her on Twitter: @iDateDaily

The (Ree)lationship Guide

Ree "The (REE)lationship Guide" is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com.

44 Comment

  1. My ex must have told the other woman I was slowing the house sale down not him. Even after I divorced him, It took another year and half for the house to sell, and I had to get my attorney involved todo exparte since he was avoiding moving things along. Finally it sold and the woman who put her voice on the home answering machine ended up trying to talk to me after he still did not marry her once every possible conncetion with me was done.
    Women believe the lies thinking there is something they can do to make the guy happy as the wife did this wrong or that wrong. They would rather believe the wife is a bad person, than the guy they are messing with is messed up. I was through with him when I filled divorce, so the women was nothing to me. I did not even get in her mess of tying to find out about him from me like we got something in common. She was thinking some how she could be in control of his happiness and boy was she in for the surprise she got! Lol

    • Ha ha! I’m glad you didn’t “partner up” with her. Let her sink on her own. There’s a price to be paid for her doing that mess.

  2. This is not fully true but pretty close. Sometimes a girl can fall in love with the taken guy and believe him and be loyal to him for real. Some guys are great at convincing a girl they love them and its just a bad time to leave their girl/wife. I’ve actually seen a case where that is more than true. The wife threatened to take the kids away so the guy stayed in an unhappy situation fucked up but it happens. Not all these situations are as fucked up as they seem. But it is wrong, either way.

    • You should always know from the start if a guy is attached. Partnered up men are often looking for a side dish and foolish is the woman who goes for it thinking somehow she’ll win a prize and satisfy this guy in some special way his current SO is not. These men will tell all kinds of stories about the wife and how terrible she is. But it’s only his side of the story. There is little to be gained from taking sloppy seconds. It cheapens you and if he cheats for you, he’ll cheat ON you.

  3. I have known for years that women get involved with somebody else’s man because of arrogance and drama.

    They enjoy the rush of competing and fighting over another man.

    Tell a woman you are single and they lose interest. Tell them you are with somebody else and they are ready to pull the other’s woman’s hair out and scratch up her face.

    And don’t even try to pretend that these women might be innocently in love.

  4. I’ve been a chic on the side and the man was not always and still isn’t married to his partner. He’s just in a relationship he doesn’t know how to exit. Our relationship was not about money (he didn’t have any). It was not about drama (not my kind of world). He’s in the relationship for all the wrong reasons and the other woman has the upper hand (she has the domaint personality). I backed away from this situation because, if he’s that weak I can’t use the drama. I’m no longer the chic on the side….and I live.

  5. I meet all 5 characteristics in this article but I disagree with the intent of my actions. I foolishly believed that eventually he’d want to be with me. He told me he just wanted to take things slow….He never admitted to having a steady girlfriend although I suspect that his emotional unavailabilty was in place for a reason. I didn’t intend to hurt whoever the significant other was, but clearly he was willing to risk it. I had to be #5 – take back the loyalty to save face. I felt like such a fool for putting it up in the first place. Also, I can’t continue loyalty to someone who doesn’t respect me. I didn’t realize I wasn’t respecting myself by settling for a relationship that wasn’t satisfying to me.

  6. I’m a side chick and I find this article hilarious. I fell in love with an older man who was already taken. He pursued me. I always had my own money. I have always been low key. Never had cross words with his wife she doesn’t know I exist we NEVER disuss her. He has never spoken poorly of her. O wouldn’t allow it. Anything that concerns there household is none of my business. Im far arrogant I’m quite shy. It’s been 7 years and the loyalty has not faltered on either end. I am free to dafe anyone I choose with no repercussions and no expectations on.him leaving her.I don’t want him to. A man gone be a man. Period.

  7. For the Chic on the side, How long will it take for her to see him for who he is? After years of carrying the relationship/parenting in all regards/house manager with 5+ moves/ nurse to all/ the only cook….My spirit just sat down. After years of no conversation, no willingness to face his own fears ( fear of being angry, fear of any pain, fear of post orgasmic pain), no problem resolution skills. My spirit sat down and I began to take better care of myself. He could not cope. He found a “friend”. He needed a traveling maid, housekeeper and “pocket to put it in”. If he did not have the courage to resolve our issues…what will she do when normal issues that couples have occur? I stayed too long. My vows were for life. He refused couples christian counseling. I was still open to reconciiiation. Courage was needed. He just could not be of courageous. I could not conquer his fears for him. Adult children are still in shock. What will she do…when he goes into his distance, workaholic and silent routines? Middle life crisis is real…What will she do?

  8. What about the man OR the men your wife has on the side? Oops..I fartgot. Women don’t do dat (~_o). Can I get an Amen from the married but unsatisfied nymphomaniacs and hot hotties out there? I know, blame her condition on the man she is supposed to be married to. I think pornography has a lot to do with it — it’s every where. Humans nowadays sure do have some loose morals. It seems like EVERYBODY is on the make every where and all the time. It needs to stop!

  9. I was 18 yrs old when I did the side chic thing(long time ago). With an older man who took advantage of my youth and naivete. I had just started college and although I had feelings for him, he was kind of a sugar daddy, but not because I was looking to be financially supported. He offered. I had great instincts and I knew some things just didn’t add up, especially when his brother mentioned to me the guy had a girlfriend. I asked him about it and he denied it, of course. Ladies, NEVER IGNORE YOUR GUT. I allowed myself to be oblivious because I was head over heels and let him tell me anything. He would go a month or two at a time without even contacting me, he’d only text me during his work hours, he never invited me to his place, he didn’t talk about me with his family even though I knew his sister and brother (I was apart of his brother’s talent organization) but we both wanted to keep our thing on the low because we knew the risks involved if his family found out. The only problem I saw was the age difference,he was 9 yrs older than me. But little did I know, the problem for him was the fact he had a girlfriend that his family knew about.

    Fast forward. We had been spending time together when we could,even New Year’s (which I later found out he was only available cuz his girl was out of town with her family). He claimed he didn’t use social websites, but I was compelled to look him up on MySpace and I saw his profile pic with some chick. I tried to convince myself it was a cousin or something but I decided not to be that dense. I confronted him and he couldn’t deny it and he said I wasn’t supposed to find out like that. What??? So we argued and I was so depressed,but I bounced back quickly. I was in school and had other guys checking for me,but guys just became a game to me at that time. So as far as this fool,my feelings for him began dwindling and I was effed up in the head enough to keep seeing him after finding out about his girlfriend. I did secretly have a vendetta against her,can’t explain that,it was stupid. But eventually he just became a cash cow. Pay my phone bill, buy my food, put gas in my tank, give me spending money, and I’ll keep quiet. He did all those things for me but I got tired of him eventually. He finally invited me to his place, but I later found out it was because his girl was outta town. I eventually hit her up on MySpace to shed some light on her and she was as dumb as I was. She didn’t believe me and when I described their humble abode and his car,she was livid but still cursed me out. I told her he had no photos of her or anything indicating she lived there,I told her the name of the apartments,etc. But I let him go and moved on. He had still been jocking me even with my new man who was actually single and stalked me. What a journey, but I severed all ties with him by the time I was maybe 19 and a half. I had growing up to do, I did and I was happy.

  10. To Huge Bullbone…in trying to follow the commentary chain, I was not able to understand your comments in relationship to the previous commentary. Could you expand and explain?

  11. Some people are just nasty whores out for sexual thrills and not caring who gets hurt in the process. I’m talking males and females both. I don’t understand home wreckers.

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