The (Ree)lationship Guide: 4 Ways to Identify a Man with ‘Potential’

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by Ree, “The (Ree)lationship Guide”


Photography by NHophotos; Chicago, IL

I recently had a conversation with a group of single ladies about whether or not they’d consider dating a man who is unemployed and/or working an entry-level job.  Majority of the ladies said no- stating the man’s ability to financially support the relationship (e.g. dinner and a movie) and a future household as reasons of concern.

I will never be an advocate of a woman lowering her standards for the sake of a relationship; however, I am an advocate of compromise to sustain a “good” relationship. I define a “good” relationship is one in which two persons, with their individual passions and tenacity, partner together to reciprocate a positive synergy that fosters growth and development.  With that being said, I don’t believe a man’s short-term career (or lack thereof) should not be the determining factor for whether or not a woman should date him and/or establish a long-term relationship with him. A person’s today does not have to be their tomorrow.

Here are 4 ways to identify a man with potential:


1. He has concrete goals.

A man with potential has concise goals and is aggressively working to achieve them. If you meet a man who can’t communicate his career goals and/or his goals are vague (e.g. “My goal is to be a millionaire in 10 years), he may lack potential.


2.  He has a strong work ethic.

A man with potential doesn’t believe in wasting time- especially as it pertains to his future. He has a relentless will to attain success and therefore manages his time exceptionally well to reach his goals.


3. He has many (profitable) skills.

A man with potential knows how to turn his skills into a profit. Whether he’s skilled at fixing cars or writing an essay, he knows how to accrue revenue from his skills.


4. He’s humble.

A man with potential is humble enough to accept entry-level positions for the sake of fulfilling a short-term financial goal. He will work at a fast food restaurant or even deliver newspapers if it’ll aid him in conquering a short-term financial goal so that he can move forward with his long-term financial goal.



Ree “The (REE)lationship Guide” is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com. Follow her on Twitter: @iDateDaily

The (Ree)lationship Guide

Ree "The (REE)lationship Guide" is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com.

9 Comment

  1. You never tell a woman, especially a blackwoman, you dont have that J-O-B

  2. So why are Blackman expected to take on Blackwoman who don’t have a job and are in and out of school ??? I’m still having trouble with the fact that black woman hold man blackman at a higher stander (which they should) my problem is that some blackwoman don’t hold themselves to the same standers which regress growth. I overstand the issues we face due to white supermacy programing, post dramatic slavery disorder, Ego, Illusions, Greed, low self esteem, even the phyisic of past karma…the biggest problem I see is most have not learn to balance personal desires with the greater good for the community and how we relate as a race for lack of a better word.

    • Paul Young, please find some Hooked On Phonics. A woman would like her man to at least be able to spell, for starters.

    • “Paul”, don’t listen to “Lenny.” All you have to do to hone in on your spelling skills is read a lot. Reading helps people write and spell better.

      Really what’s catching you is words sound a certain way and you write them like they sound, instead of reading and realizing the English language is full of complicated spellings and sounds.

      Stay strong and unconforming.

  3. Good advice. I work at pizza hut while I was in college and the think like a man type women never gave a chance. Now that I have graduated they want to date so I just treat them how they act once it is paid for I send them home. If did not want me than I do not want you now just a fair Exchange.these type of women are looking for Mr perfect but end up baby mama’s. Men want a women to support them when they are up or down not someone who is only there for a paycheck.

  4. There are many black women out there who will support a brotha who is down on his luck. The thing is, many men period, black, white, blue, orange like living off of women who show them that love and support. Instead of getting on their feet they sit on their behinds expecting handouts. So, it is in a woman’s best interest to date men with jobs and if not, we have to be very careful when that man doesn’t have one. If he shows that he is trying then I would remain interested. But as time goes on, that man really has to step up to the plate. I don’t care if he works fast food or at a car wash. It shows ambition. If I’m not expecting handouts, I wouldn’t want my man to be that way either.

  5. These women choosing…a lot of people hung up on looks…period…I had to admit this as a man dealing with the type of women I date. My 10 year ole daughter told me I talk to ladies with big butts and booty clothes. I took it as a joke at first then gave it some thought.

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