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My sisters, mis hermanas….

In my short little time here on this lush green Earth, I have come to know a beautiful diverse amount of women.  All from different areas in the country or another country, in life, in goals etc.  But the one thing that some of them lacked was the acknowledgment of the power that lies within all of us women. Which is just that, being a woman!

The moment you excel from a little girl’s mentality to actually embracing the fullness that is YOU is when you begin to hone your craft. Your YOUness…

Being a powerful woman doesnt mean you go around waving your nose in the air,snapping fingers and swirving necks to and fro, shooting down people with your negative one liners. No! Its all about comfort with ones’ self. 

Few pointers and some general thinking points to ponder:

1. Be comfortable with you. No one else can instruct you on how to be you. Whatever flaws you have, whatever achievements you’ve received own up to it. There’s a fine line between Confidence, Cockiness, and Conceit. KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. If at any time you want to go and do something, GO! Sure you can invite people but then you may have to wait so they can check their schedules, get ready, find a baby-sitter, see if they “feel” like going, etc. JUST GO! Take yourself to a dinner and a movie, a new art exhibit, hear some live music, some poetry, a trip out of town, whatever! Just go.  Especially if you’re newly single and have spent a great portion of your life and time catering to someone. Get out and get to know YOU.  Its important.

2. If you’re single and dating/looking/whatev know what “talking”, “dating”, “understanding”, and “relationship” means to you. Some people get going out once for lunch and she paid her own way confused with dating. Others may get a one night stand confused with a relationship.  Know where you stand on each of these and dont be a afraid to voice your expectations.  Dont overlook the CLEAR signs that ‘he’s just not that into you’ while evaluating the situation.  Sometimes its best just to go with the flow and not think anything serious of one encounter. Keep it moving! You’re dating, you’re not confined to one person nor does that make you a hoe.  Keep your morals and values and everything else yo mama taught you close to your heart of course! ;o)

3. Be positive! No one likes hanging around Debbie Downer or Frustrated Felicia! Speak positive things, hang aroung positive people, live positively, think positive and always have an open mind to unique situations. Stop saying ignorant comments like “i dont hang around women, i dont like women, women are catty” umm…i hate to burst your bubble but er uh, arent you a woman? Now i agree you cant have everybody in your friend space HOWEVER saying that you cant be around another female speaks volumes about YOU.  Hanging with women that I consider to be my friends is the greatest outlet, night of laughter, 0_o o_O x_x moments EVER!

4. Be honest!  If you’re not feeling him like that cut that brotha loose. Dont hold on to him just cause he has the hook up at Shoney’s and knows a guy at the front door of the hottest juke joint.  You’ll feel better about yourself tomorrow if you do.  Besides no one likes to be lead down a winding road blind-folded.  You dont like it when men do it to you, so dont do it to them!  Just politely respond “no I dont want your number, i appreciate your interest” and keep it moving. If you’re feeling him thats one thing, but if you’re not just let. it. go!…lol. Stop answering those late night texts cause you were “bored”.  An idle mind gets many a people in mucho trouble!

5. Know your role. Not in a condescending tone (sorry if you felt that) however know if you are a friend, acquaintance, the “boo”, the “one night stand”, the “other woman”, the “girlfriend”, the “wife” and proceed accordingly.  Too many women have no experience being a loyal trustworthy honorable platonic friend without thinking that “aw he opened the door for me, he must really like me”…uh no ma’am pam! Put your coochie coupons up!!! An opened door does not mean opened legs.  IF you fall into one of the uncommitted categories then you need to acknowledge that and move on. Either you’re gonna be THAT or not.  But dont get angry when you see him out with other people/females and try and cause a scene. If he’s wanting to be in a committed relationship with you he WILL make time for you before you can even pick up the phone. You know where you stand already you just like being in denial. Wake it up honey! If you fall into the committed category then you cant just pause and be all “well i got him now”. no miss lady! Continue to be spontaneous, fun, outgoing, adventurous! Dont get lost in him.  10 times out of 10 your guy will appreciate and adore you more if you have your own life outside of the relationship. Think about it, you want someone nipping at your heels all the time?  Friends, travels, aspirations, if it sounds all good he’s gonna wanna be apart of it somehow some way.  BE YOU! 

6. Dont be afraid to be feminine! Cry if you have to, laugh when you want to, and scream when you’re angry! OH yeah! and another one I didnt mention, GET RID OF THE POTTY MOUTH! Its not attractive or becoming. Sure a few loose bombs here and there but who wants to kiss an ash tray? uh huh my thoughts exactly…lol. Wear a dress just because. Get all cutesy wootesy on your self paid date. Cook a full course meal cause you wanted to try out a new recipe!

Just get out of your comfort zone and release yourself from those emotions you’ve been bound in and LIVE! LIVE i say! LIIVVEEEE!!!

Algo mas mi gente?

Chao Bellas,

Besitos y Brazos


One Comment

  1. Outstanding read, I recently passed this onto a colleague who has been performing a bit research on that. And the man in fact bought me lunch because I came across it for him smile So allow me to rephrase that: Appreciate your lunch!

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