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by Ree, “The (Ree)lationship Guide”
I am usually floored by some of the stories my clients share with me about women/men who they consider to be their ‘bathroom lover’. The bathroom lover is the person contacted solely to fulfill a desire for sex. The bathroom analogy stems from our everyday interaction with the bathroom. When we’re in dire need of a toilet, we’ll practically do anything to access it; however, once we’ve satisfied our need(s), we move to the next room in the house that occupies majority of our time (e.g. the bedroom). The bathroom’s sole advantage is the toilet. You can always brush your teeth or even “wash-up” using the kitchen sink- if necessary. No other room is equipped for a toilet, except the bathroom. No other person tolerates being contacted solely for sexual fulfillment, except the ‘bathroom lover’. Their choice to be readily available for sex with no strings attached makes them unique. Here are three ways to know whether or not you are someone’s ‘bathroom lover’:
A person will never maintain a consistent pattern with the ‘bathroom lover’. In fact, they have no interest in doing so because they don’t know the exact date and time when they’ll feel compelled to contact you. Even if a pattern occurs over a course of weeks or even months, it’ll abruptly stop once the person finds someone who they feel is worth occupying majority of their time.
A person becomes very audacious in their interactions with the ‘bathroom lover’. You may be asked to cook, iron clothes, pay bills, etc. with little-to-no favor in return. The more you fulfill for this person, the more audacious they will become with their requests of you. In fact, they’ll oftentimes inconvenience you for their own convenience.
3. Lack of Time.
A person will find ways to not have time for you if they know you’re not interested in having sex with them. The moment you express a loss of interest in having sex, you will no longer be of any value to this person. They will find a a reason to permanently escape from the “relationship”.
I am not an advocate of risky sexual behavior, especially after reading this story about the surge of HIV infections among African American women in Atlanta, Georgia. If you are a ‘bathroom lover’ or if you are the person who has a ‘bathroom lover’, please be mindful of the risks you’re taking each time you decide to engage in sexual activity. Your decision could literally kill you and others.
Ree “The (REE)lationship Guide” is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com. Follow her on Twitter: @iDateDaily