The (Ree)lationship Guide: Identifying the ‘Bathroom Lover’

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Are you the bathroom lover?

Photography by NHoPhotos; Chicago, IL

by Ree, “The (Ree)lationship Guide”

I am usually floored by some of the stories my clients share with me about women/men who they consider to be their ‘bathroom lover’.  The bathroom lover is the person contacted solely to fulfill a desire for sex.  The bathroom analogy stems from our everyday interaction with the bathroom. When we’re in dire need of a toilet, we’ll practically do anything to access it; however, once we’ve satisfied our need(s), we move to the next room in the house that occupies majority of our time (e.g. the bedroom).  The bathroom’s sole advantage is the toilet. You can always brush your teeth or even “wash-up” using the kitchen sink- if necessary. No other room is equipped for a toilet, except the bathroom.  No other person tolerates being contacted solely for sexual fulfillment, except the ‘bathroom lover’. Their choice to be readily available for sex with no strings attached makes them unique. Here are three ways to know whether or not you are someone’s  ‘bathroom lover’:

1. Inconsistency.

A person will never maintain a consistent pattern with the ‘bathroom lover’. In fact, they have no interest in doing so because they don’t know the exact date and time when they’ll feel compelled to contact you. Even if a pattern occurs over a course of weeks or even months, it’ll abruptly stop once the person finds someone who they feel is worth occupying majority of their time.

2. Audacity.

A person becomes very audacious in their interactions with the ‘bathroom lover’.  You may be asked to cook, iron clothes, pay bills, etc. with little-to-no favor in return. The more you fulfill for this person, the more audacious they will become with their requests of you. In fact, they’ll oftentimes inconvenience you for their own convenience.

3. Lack of Time.

A person will find ways to not have time for you if they know you’re not interested in having sex with them. The moment you express a loss of interest in having sex, you will no longer be of any value to this person. They will find a a reason to permanently escape from the “relationship”.

I am not an advocate of risky sexual behavior, especially after reading this story about the surge of HIV infections among African American women in Atlanta, Georgia.  If you are a ‘bathroom lover’ or if you are the person who has a ‘bathroom lover’, please be mindful of the risks you’re taking each time you decide to engage in sexual activity. Your decision could literally kill you and others.




Ree “The (REE)lationship Guide” is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com. Follow her on Twitter: @iDateDaily

The (Ree)lationship Guide

Ree "The (REE)lationship Guide" is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com.

6 Comment

  1. Relationships are what “you” make them. The best relationship anyone can have is with God. That should be your first relationship. After that, if you adhere to His word, you will “always” be protected from all the strife of the world. You will not be of this world. You will be above all things and anything that you find yourself without, ask the Lord for it and you will receive what you ask for. But, you must first, establish a relationship with God through his son Jesus. As for a bathroom lover, if God lets me get a man and I am married to him (the only time one should be having sex) and he wants it in the bathroom, on the floor, or any other place that is not raunchy, I am his wife and I hope that we get the pleasure that we seek, which should be satisfying one another. Fornicators, adulters, and other sinners are the ones suffering in these relationships.

  2. If you think the kind of person mentioned in this article does not
    exist, check your nearest inner-city.

  3. there are bathroom lovers in the suburbs too. the inner city hasn’t cornered that market! are you from the inner city? must be how you know.

  4. By saying inner city do you mean black? Well as a friend to many pink pink people I will tell you that they have f**k buddies too! Black people….I mean inner city dwellers have not cornered the market on this, Mitch!

  5. Um, like why do you bleep out the words sex and sexual? Weird right. Maybe you are the bathroom lover. And this whole concept sounds heavily made up and whack. Like some person who just wanted to make something up, then hype it up for attention.

  6. And the website automatically bleeped the words for me! The words ACTIVISM, and KNOWLEDGE are in the wallpaper; but you block out s e x? Or s..e..x..u..a..l? G..o..o..f..y!!! Lost credibility points buds.

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