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Man With 21 Kids by 11 Women: My Thoughts About BabyMomma #11

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by Ree, “The (Ree)lationship Guide”

The 29 year old man with 21 kids by 11 different women working a minimum wage job

Desmond Hatchett- A 29 year old man with 21 children by 11 different women

Recently, news broke about the 29 year old man with 21 kids by 11 different women. My first thought was “This can’t be true.” To my disappointment, the story is indeed a true story and one man, 11 women and 21 children are going to suffer severely from this situation. After I shook my head in utter disgust for the 21 innocent lives that will face an unmerciful struggle before them, I thought “What kind of woman would want to be baby momma #3 or, better yet,  #11?!” Here are my thoughts on baby momma #11:

 

 

1. She is immature. BabyMomma #11 must’ve been extremely young (16-19 years of age) to even consider having sex with a man like Desmond Hatchett. She was probably thrilled by their difference in age and saw it as a measurement of his maturity , i.e. his “manhood”, as opposed to a measurement of his time on earth.

2. She learns the “hard” way. BabyMomma #11 probably doesn’t learn easily from other people’s mistakes. She would prefer to experience things for herself- even if her decision causes her own demise.

3. She thinks she’s “different”. BabyMomma #11 probably believes she can bring something to the table that the other babymommas couldn’t.  She believes she is irreplaceable and can change Desmond.

Unfortunately, BabyMomma #11  won’t be the last woman to fall victim to poor-long-term-decision-making in regards to love and relationships. In fact, there are many BabyMomma #11′s walking around right now who are affecting the lives of their unborn children everyday by their decision to choose a man who can’t or won’t provide for his seed.  Let’s put an end to foolish decisions right now! Our children are suffering significantly.

 

Ree “The (REE)lationship Guide” is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com. Follow her on Twitter: @iDateDaily

 

The (Ree)lationship Guide

Ree "The (REE)lationship Guide" is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com.

53 Comment

  1. How dare these women doom the lives of their children by providing such a man as a father. He has nothing to contribute to their lives…disgraceful!

  2. The women are dooming the children’s life by having a baby with this man or any other man they know is irresponsible. It is best for a couple to raise a child within marriage, but funny thing is so much dysfunction rules so many lives and then Tyler Perry will do a movie about a woman who did things the right way versus one who acted foolishly and becomes the hero. We have got to stop perpetuating this foolish behavior and point people to the right things to do. As long as we are willing to uplift and hold entertainers bad morals to high standards how can we expect our youth to to act like they have sense.
    To those who started the boycott of the bad behavior of the basketball wives, great job! Let’s keep moving forward and have more women speak against the behavior of these women who are choosing bad. Don’t hate the woman, but the behavior!

  3. We have plenty of irresponsible brothas in the community. But, we also have plenty of irresponsible sistahs enabling the irresponsible behavior of those brothas. Much is said about the state of the Black man. It’s high time we take a look at the Black woman’s complicity in the wretched state of the community. Consciously birthing the child of an irresponsible male is counter to the forward progress of the Black community. A child can be either a gift or a curse to the community, depending on how it is reared. Something we need to think about…

    • this is a very sad story with an ending that we all know to well. once again this young man has made a choie (several choices) that dooms all his children to a life of confusionnd wondering. as they grow and become older and more aware of life around them how do they even began to comprehend having 21 siblings (brothers and sisters). please someone stop the madness, we have truly gone over the deep end.

  4. We can start by blaming ourselves. We’ve allowed these types of irresponsible behaviors to go on for way too long. It seems that in the black community anything goes. Now we wonder why things are so out of control. What’s even more devastating is that the cycle will repeat itself exponentially through his children.

    • We can only blame ourselves. The convenient excuse is to point to slavery. But, I don’t buy it. That’s intellectual laziness at its finest. The white man didn’t force Desmond to have unprotected sex with all those women. And the white man didn’t force those women to open their legs for Desmond. He has 21 children with 11 women, which means he had multiple children with a few of them. Once you’ve been bitten by a snake, you try to touch it, again? He’s an idiot. And the women are also idiots. Sadly, too much of this type of behavior is acceptable in our community. It’s a vicious cycle.

  5. He said he had four children in one year, twice! That type of reckless behavior is borderline retarded.

  6. LOST FOR WORDS… Heart goes out to the children…

  7. Desmond Hatchett…the father of our country…he is everything what is wrong w/ urban black males in 2012..Obama got elected in 2008 & more balck males are acting out more than ever.

  8. There are a lot of good comments here regarding this article. There are also a lot of good Black people. These comments are evidence of that.

    The problem is not the Black race. The problem is with a certain segment of the Black population, a Black underclass.

    It’s good to see so many fine comments by good Black folks. We need to see more comments like these from Blacks in the white community. I see too many comments that seem to condemn Blacks as a whole on other websites. This needs to stop.

    This Black underclass is too small a portion of the Black population to let this continue. Let’s see more discussion about this among the total population. I’m afraid that too many Blacks are reluctant to discuss these problems among White people for fear of stereotyping the entire Black population. Trust me that this will not be the case.

    I believe these problems began to surface in the 1960’s with the sexual revolution. It became acceptable to divorce. It became acceptable to be a single parent. Heck, it even became acceptable for a woman who wasn’t married and never had any intention to marry to become pregnant just because she wanted a child.

    This is a horrible situation. Out of wedlock births in the White community is 35%. This is way too high. It’s not an accident. These are choices that have become acceptable. The same is true in the Black underclass community. These are choices that people make. It’s a huge problem for our society and we have to do something to change the thinking of our entire population of all races.

  9. What about enforcing child support laws? Pay up or jail. That choice will modify a lot of foolish behavior.

  10. I do blame both parents. But do you really think he came out telling these women hey you go be baby mama # ???. Men can tell tall tales. Us as women have to take heed and wake up and pay attention. We ate prey in this jungle especially if you are a strong woman with a good head on your shoulders and a decent job. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. It’s both parents fault. But at the end of the day sorry ladies these kids are our responsibility. No its not fair but you lay in the bed you make and you can’t make no one be where they don’t want to be. We have to step up and play both roles. I rather my child know no father than a bad example…!!!!- HELLO!- wake up women

  11. As a Black manThis guy totally disgusts me. If I met this idiot I’d need Bail money. This idiot ought to be forced to get snipped, and if he is not paying Child Support, go directly to Jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200.00. The words I feel for him I cannot say. But I really feel sorry for those Children to have such Dummies for parents, because I know darn well some of those women know the deal with this idiot because he is not smart enough to keep them all in the dark, so they should be punished in some way too. This is crazy, and because irresponsible idiots like these they take mine, your, Tax money to pay for the indiscressions of these knuckleheads. I am burning mad right now.There is NO excuse for what he or those women did.

  12. This is another example of our people thinking they know it all an not looking at what is going on around them probably one sis at another when this dude is laying up with some other sis across town. Brother not caring if he gets or gives hiv or aids because in the poor community most don’t care, they are just hoping they don’t get hit by a bullet. I feel sorry for these children because I have several brothers that did the same thing in their youth. Claiming to be great fathers but moms are or were on public assistance lying 4 these men {I don’t know who the father is} wives finding out after being with these guys for many years that there are more children not accounted 4 and she had 2 have her income taxes taken for his child support. And how many times a yr. do the children see dad because he doesn’t want 2 deal with the baby mama drama. Excuses Excuses Excuses. But mama is dealing with all these children and the other women who thinks that he is their man, he’s leaving her for me mess, who gets the most child support if any etc. While we pay taxes to support them. Love my people and realize that it also happens within other cultures. But when do we learn other culture get together and build a community up we continue to tear one another down. Much prayer is need for us to use wisdom in every area of our lives otherwise our children will continue 2 suffer.

  13. I disagree with the author’s depiction of Baby Mama #11. It was quite presumptuous, judgmental and unfair because the writer doesn’t know this mother. She was depicted stereotypically, something I would expect from white racists who place blacks in negative categories all the time. Just as a couple of commenters suggested, she might not have known the escapades of this irresponsible brother, she could have been in her 20′s. She could have been working. She could have been Caucasian – who knows. Yes, it was foolish to get knocked up, but don’t single out this mother because she was #11. Don’t tell her history without knowing the facts. That to me is irresponsible.

    • Edye:

      Where does Ree mention mention race anywhere in her blog? Nowhere. But you, in your simple-minded way, cant resist adding a racist edge to it. Most likely this guy planted an ugly, fat white chick on his way to 21 kids; however, Ree’s blog can only be considedered “stereotypical” in her reasoning that a young girl is always looking for love with the wrong guy. Its been going on forever and is true for all races. Surely you must remember being a young girl and believing you were the one to make some uncontrollabe guy controllable. Wait a minute – Are you #11?

      • Lol, last time I checked, this thought process did cross all
        race, and age!

  14. I believe the writers depiction of babymamma #11 is quite accurate. You can tell the type of person she is by her actions. Babymammas #3-11 are all at fault and was at one point the most stupid of all the women. It does not matter if she was unaware of his despicable behavior, women need to do their research on a man before you lay down and procreate with them. She writer was correct when she stated that this woman thought she better than the other women. I see this a lot among women, thinking they can somehow change a man through her vagina. Women need to get there head out of the clouds and quit doing what is easy(laying down).
    Another thing is a shame is that these children will grow up in this small town and will have no one to mate with because they will be all related somehow and then that is where many of the major issues will start. These people are probably all already related and this is why this issue exists. There are probably other men in that town with lots of kids but his story just takes the cake.

    • Agreed! Let’s keep it real and call right -right and wrong -wrong. Just because some stand up and tell the truth and does not mean that the persons is not loved.
      Man having sex with women out of wedlock.
      Example: Fantasia- having a baby by a married man = wrong!
      Example: Jennifer Hudson having a baby out of wedlock= wrong!
      Just because a woman can afford a baby does not mean its a good idea especially when it’s not the best circumstances or the child. Are we not supposed to be loving neighbor as self any way after we love God with all our hearts, souls, minds and strength?
      Women need to start holding women accountable and stop blaming men for saying yes to what’s not good for us or any child we produce when we are operating with our full mental capacity.
      Enough said!

  15. Why jump on the author for ridiculing baby moma number 11. Why is it acceptable to have a baby out of wedlock! Sex is not so free when it cost a child the right to have the starting chance of the best life two responsible people can provide.
    There are exceptions to the rule, but it’s just plain ole bad when the bad behavior becomes the norm.
    It burn me when I see a woman who cannot support herself, have a kid with a man she was only intending to lay with and then she demands he do the full support of the child. When neither parent should have the kid, perhaps the child should not be in either of their hands and they both be responsible for paying for what the child needs instead of the people.
    How is it that those of us who work very very hard, are very very careful how many children we bring forth, but those of us who do not take care of our children don’t worry about it? We all may have a relative or know someone who has a child with each guy she dates and she knows the guy will not be around because she is trying to correct a wrong through hope, but she knows her back up plan is Mr Gov! Then there’s the guy who thinks he is the man because he is getting it from all these sistahs and so what, they wanted the baby by him right so it’s ok.
    God tells men not to waste thier seed, so our community will continue to reap from these rotten decisions from people in a cess pool of self destruction.
    Stop with the doing what you feel, and do what is right in the sight of God and humanity. Respect yourself and the future. Did our ancestors really suffer to deliver us from the evil of slavery for us to sacrifice our children to be slaves. So many today say they would not be a slave, but readily volunteer for it. Only thing is, they are not even aware enough to even recognize it.

  16. He has the sexual morals of an alley cat, but it’s also remarkable how so many women lined up to make him their “baby daddy”. How does it benefit these women to have children with a minimum wage earner with so many other children and baby mommas? Is it the swag? It seems like bad decisions all around. These bad mate choices have signed 21 children up for a hard knock life of low socioeconomic status and broken homes. That a very high price to pay for their parents mistakes.

  17. Sterilization…. Oh I forgot that people have both constitutional and civil rights. However, what comes along with those rights are responsibilities.

  18. These children will be taken care of whether the dad is there or not. The same way one dad won’t do for the one child that he has produce, that baby is still taken care of. It may sound wrong but those children need to know their brothers and sisters, it’s not the children fault. Only those in the situation know if this male told them about the other children or even a possiblity of being a dad. If the female knew then that is something that she made a decision to do. People will judge others for any or every thing. What we should do is pray for one another. Some follow the steps of someone in their family and this is how these situations come about, a generation curse.

  19. If that was a woman oppose to man who had all those kids, she'll would have been labled a long time a go as a mentally unstable woman, or better yet a slut, whore or another derrogatory name. He is sad; not a man, but a mouse, going from hole to hole.

    • This guy has been called all those names and more, but people commenting on this story, particularly when it was first printed.

  20. MANDATORY VESECTOMY OR CASTRATION HE'S NOT RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO PREVENT THIS LET THE PUBLIC DECIDE HIS FATE.

  21. Omg dats a HOTT DICK!!!! Its kind of Disguestng 21kids 11dffrnt women shissshh but if dat wudve been a Woman wit 21kids n 11babydaddies mann dey wudve tried taken her kids n she wudve been Labeld a Bigg Ass Hoe…

  22. Instead of impregnating these women, he should have just went to a sperm bank. At least at a sperm bank, he would of made some money and he wouldn't be forced to pay child support.

  23. I don't see how Ree can write an article on the mindset of someone she's never met, interviewed or studied.

    • I can see it. One doesn't have to know the person to make a CLEAR and SOUND judgement on their actions….which by the way, do speak louder than words. In this world today, this is the mindset of many females, black or white, young and old (unfortunately). I agree with everything Ree wrote. Thank you Ree for telling it like it is!!!!

    • I agree because sometimes people lie and maybe the woman had no clue about his situation until it was too late.

    • Basing your JUDGEMENT on anyone without ever speaking, studying or having ANY communication with them is not just arrogant, its hypocritical. I sincerely doubt that if we exposed every intimate detail of YOUR life, that you would look like Mother Theresa or Albert Einstein… #castthefirststone

    • This is a lesson on why it is so important to actually know someone before committing to having a child with that person. I find it hard to believe none of these women knew about each other. It is not so difficult to paint a picture of the type of person who would get involved with a guy like this, and speak on how that person would behave. You'll notice that the author didn't use any names or ever call the person names, but simply said what so many of us who read that article were thinking and expounded upon it. Therefore the author did not pass "JUDGEMENT" but produced an observation.

    • Once again, how can you make an observation without actually OBSERVING?? If you don't know this woman… never spoke to her but you're theorizing everything that's wrong with her… its just completely void of any sense of respect for the humanity of this BLACK WOMAN. If "REE" had interviewed this woman, sat down with her or even Investigated her past then I would consider this a valid article. Without doing any of that, its just a woman venting her own frustration on another woman we know NOTHING about. This is what Fox news and mainstream media does to US as a people all the time. Its worse when we do it to each other.

    • @Adrienne, if that is the case, she was hopping in those sheets entirley too fast.

  24. This guy is a pure scumbag!!!

  25. I read and commented before on this deadbeat before. He is a disgrace and he is not alone….the mothers are too!! Now…if you didn't know, it would be a different story! He obviously cares nothing about himself…so why on earth would he care about these kids or the mothers? To blatantly lay down with no concern about not only the chance of conceiving a child but also the chance of contracting an std/Aids doesn't even come to mind with this guy or these women!! I feel sympathy only for the children. They didn't ask to be born….let alone in a detrimental situation as this!! And…do these kids even know they are related? Do the mother know each other?? He must be the talk (and not in a good way) at his family reunion!! A real man is not someone who is capable of making babies and about how many women he sleeps with! A real man takes responsibility for his actions and knows that consequences lead to repercussions!! A real woman does not let a man use her body for sex, babies, money in order to fulfill needs!! Everybody needs to get their heads out their behinds and think about what you are doing before you do it!! I'm sick of seeing total degradation!! Especially of our people!!

    • Isn't that the bottom line? If a man doesn't care enough to protect himself, what makes anyone believe he will care about her or any possible off spring?

    • I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who sees the dangers of lying down with a man unprotected

  26. I don't see how Ree can write an article on the mindset of someone she's never met, interviewed or studied? If your Trash your Trash, If your a pieces Sh-t Your a piece of Sh-t…. You can judge who you WANT NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE?

  27. YOU CAN JUDGE WHO YOU WANT NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE…KILLER, RAPIST, THIEVES AND LOW DOWN PEOPLE IN THE WORLD…AND YOU CAN'T JUDGE THEM? BUT YOU GOT TO LIVE WITH THEM? PLEASE! WHAT ELSE CAN A FOOL SAY WHEN THEY ARE WRONG….

  28. and to think women leave "good" cats like me for these kinda dudes. Can't feel sorry for'em…this is a dude you can physically "see" ain't worth ya time. Some people just love dysfunction…raised in it!

  29. You missed an obvious one. She simply could NOT have known. I have known and heard about PLENTY of men who will deny their children and sleep with women without disclosure. Often the next "baby mama victim" doesn't know until she's pregnant or had the child. And to make matter's worse, she often finds out that she was pregnant at the SAME time as baby mama [insert baby mama 1 -10 pick here].

    • All these women need to read, "The Power of the Pussy." Have you no dignity and self respect?!

  30. Hard breaking, where is the Shame?

  31. It seems to be the "will" of some women to have a baby. The capability to have a baby we cannot take that from them, that is their God-given right – even though they may be ill prepared for a baby. Also, I wonder if women think pregnancy will "keep" the man.

  32. I know I’m late but I just stumbled on this site. I heard about this story awhile ago & thought another sign of the decline of our community. There are many things in our collective past that contribute to our dysfunction but those injustices can not be used to explain or excuse this bad behavior any longer. A comment about the author being judgemental/making assumptions/or not knowing if baby momma #11knew about the lives this deadbeat helped create. It doesn’t matter there are too many people failing to ask themselves if they have risen enough in education, life experience and financially to properly raise another human being. We all know how babies are made and people need to stop making children they can not provide for. We are losing ground! We must stop shouting down people who give honest observations of our problems for fear that “others” might hear. We must openly admit our problems in order to deal with them.

  33. Being horny doesn't pay, no sympathy for the baby momma, feel bad for the kids though, and dude just don't care cause he doesn't have to pay shit. If a person tells you he has 20 kids and you still lay him, the only way you get a pass from me is if you have a mental problem, other than that you s.a.f. age included

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