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The (Ree)lationship Guide: Ladies, Should You Wait for Him to Marry You?

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Far too often I meet with devastated female clients who are upset because their long-term boyfriend has not asked for their hand in marriage.  They are oftentimes torn between breaking up with him or waiting on him to propose on his own terms. The most common question asked is “Should I wait for him?” My response is a bit sophisticated, obviously because the causes of this situation vary from case-to-case. For the sake of this article, let’s assume the couple has openly discussed marriage and both have agreed that they’d like to marry each other; however, the boyfriend alleges he’s willing to commit after he reaches a certain level of success in his career (a common explanation I hear from my male clients). What should you do?

My advice is to determine: A) Whether or not you want marriage because you’re interested in spending the rest of your life with him or B) Whether or not you want marriage because you’re ready for an eternal commitment with anyone of interest. It is imperative that you know which situation fits you.

If you’re solely interested in marrying him, you should consider ceasing the discussion about marriage until his goals are met and finding ways to help him attain those goals. If you’re interested in eternal companionship with any person of interest, I’d encourage you to break up with your boyfriend and pursue relationships with individuals who share your marriage goals.

Both suggestions are extremely risky, but the dating game is one of many risks. The key is to risk loving someone who is willing to risk loving you.

 

 

Ree “The (REE)lationship Guide” is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com. Follow her on Twitter: @iDateDaily

The (Ree)lationship Guide

Ree "The (REE)lationship Guide" is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com.

9 Comment

  1. What a crazy statement… REALLY!!!
    If you’re solely interested in marrying him, you should consider ceasing the discussion about marriage until his goals are met and finding ways to help him attain those goals.

    People are constantly changing everyday, so everyday is a “CHANCE” that you will be taking on saving yourself for a man who might most certainly have a huge change of heart once he has recieved his accomplishments and want to go in a whole new direction and don’t want you in the (EQUASION)… and might not even know how to drop the news on you…wink!

    Focus on your own goals. Look at how many good strong positive black-women who have stood behind black-men on their way to the top, and once they got there they left the good strong black-women for another woman aka: STEVE HARVEY and many others…

    I’m just keeping it real…

    How about just letting God use his fingers to do the walking through the “YELLOW PAGES” for you while you go insearch of real life….wink!!!

  2. Women that play wifey lessen their chances of becoming wifey.

  3. Black sisters!!! What the h*ll is it gonna take for many of us to stop chasing after these (Unsuitable) black men especially when most of us are also (unsuitable) too…
    Having a degree, all your goals met, finances in order, owning your own home and driving a top of the line automobile does not make a man (suitable) for marriage… Suitable black men are men after Gods own heart / relationship material… They have eyes only for the woman that God has for them. They do not have wondering eyes and touchy fingers and mind games. They don’t bed hop, they don’t harbor filthy secrets for their buddys to discuss about other women, they are celibute to in their waiting period too. They will not sleep with Gods women or compromise their own personal relationship with their God.

    PS Sisters… /I’m not talking about the preachers of today , I’m not talking about church-boys at all… I’m talking about true (God-men / Spirit-men)… This is the type of man / husband all black women should be waiting for her God to send her.
    He will find you when the time is (RIPE) for the both of you /Gods timing only..

    Be patient and go live your life waiting on no man.

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