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Far too often I meet with devastated female clients who are upset because their long-term boyfriend has not asked for their hand in marriage. They are oftentimes torn between breaking up with him or waiting on him to propose on his own terms. The most common question asked is “Should I wait for him?” My response is a bit sophisticated, obviously because the causes of this situation vary from case-to-case. For the sake of this article, let’s assume the couple has openly discussed marriage and both have agreed that they’d like to marry each other; however, the boyfriend alleges he’s willing to commit after he reaches a certain level of success in his career (a common explanation I hear from my male clients). What should you do?
My advice is to determine: A) Whether or not you want marriage because you’re interested in spending the rest of your life with him or B) Whether or not you want marriage because you’re ready for an eternal commitment with anyone of interest. It is imperative that you know which situation fits you.
If you’re solely interested in marrying him, you should consider ceasing the discussion about marriage until his goals are met and finding ways to help him attain those goals. If you’re interested in eternal companionship with any person of interest, I’d encourage you to break up with your boyfriend and pursue relationships with individuals who share your marriage goals.
Both suggestions are extremely risky, but the dating game is one of many risks. The key is to risk loving someone who is willing to risk loving you.
Ree “The (REE)lationship Guide” is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com. Follow her on Twitter: @iDateDaily