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Have you ever experienced doubt in your relationship? I have. If you’re fortunate (or unfortunate- contingent upon perspective) enough to have not experienced doubt in your relationship, allow me to inform you that it makes things very awkward. Doubt in a relationship can transpire for various reasons: inconsistencies, infidelity, peer pressure, etc. Whatever the cause of doubt, it must be addressed. Choosing not to address it will only lead you to a recipe of misery and heartache.
So, why do you have doubts?
It’s important that you determine the core of the doubt prior to addressing it. Was it a late-night text? A posting on Facebook from an ex? A recent change in attitude? You decide. Once you’re aware of the source of the doubt, you can put pride aside and talk to your significant other about your feelings.
How should I address it?
Inform your significant other that you’d like to discuss something important with them at a time that is convenient for both of you. Once that time is established, calmly bring up the source of doubt and explain how it affected you and what you feel should be changed in the relationship moving forward.
I addressed it. Now what?
Now that the source of doubt has been exposed and you’ve suggested (not demanded) ways to prevent it in the future, you should listen to your significant other’s point of view. Allow them to explain what actions led to the source of doubt and how/if they will adhere to your suggestions and prevent it from happening in the future.
What if my significant other doesn’t care to work on the source of doubt?
If your significant other is unwilling to adhere to and/or critique your suggestions for preventing doubt in the future, you have to ask yourself if you are willing to stay in the relationship and accept the circumstance or end the relationship to prevent further growth of “hard” feelings. If you and your significant other can’t find a common ground to end the source of doubt and strengthen the relationship, it’s time to call it quits.
My significant other and I created a viable plan to decrease/cease doubt in our relationship. Now what?
If you’re significant other respects your concerns and is willing to work on fixing or preventing them, you can then observe their actions to ensure their seriousness about the circumstance. If several months later you’re still displeased with the circumstance, you may need to put an end to the relationship altogether. A relationship is about compromise. If your significant other knows their actions (or lack thereof) can potentially end the relationship, they will try their best to ensure they make you feel comfortable, as you would do the same for them. When there’s discomfort, there’s no relationship.
Ree “The (REE)lationship Guide” is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com. Follow her on Twitter: @iDateDaily