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By: Nojma Muhammad, Your Black Woman
I recently saw a picture on Facebook that had the following words: “If you wouldn’t make her a wife then don’t make her a mother.” I got the message, but to me this yet again another escape from accountability as women. “Make” Really? Make? My perspective is, “If he isn’t willing to MAKE you his wife, then DON’T be WILLING to be his “baby mama!”
For some reason, I could not get past the word “make”, and upon further reflection, the question became how can a man “make” you something that YOU’RE volunteering to BE? Oh yes, volunteer is the correct word. If we lay down with a man, and he is NOT your husband, and you have sex with him, you are VOLUNTEERING to be the mother of his child, since we know conception is a possibility when sex takes place.
You appealed to his lower nature. You had sex with him and didn’t make marriage a requirement. You continue to have sex with him and still don’t make marriage a requirement. You decide that you’re going to have his baby, and again you still aren’t married because, again, you didn’t make it a requirement, he leaves you. But everything is “ALL HIS FAULT!”
See how FOOLISH that sounds Sisters?