“My Hair Is Too Nappy To Go Natural.”

Over the years, I have encountered several women who say they desire to go natural but they list reasons why they can’t. They say going natural is not possible for them because they believe their hair is way too nappy. The first time someone told me this, I was a bit confused since I believe going natural is all about embracing and accepting your hair for what it is, nappy or fine. I do realize some women go natural because to them, it’s a fad and they simply like the way natural hair looks but my hope is that all transitioners fall in love and embrace their natural hair by the end of the process.

When someone transitions from relaxed to natural hair, they are often nervous about how their hair will look once they are completely natural. Will they have an abundance of curls, kinks, naps or coils? Most women have been getting relaxers for so long that they can’t remember how their hair looked before they started getting the chemical treatments. Some  women hope that their hair will be a fine texture. I have had women tell me that they wanted their hair to look like Alicia Keys, a biracial R&B singer who’s 3b type hair is a reflection of her mixed race. Many of these women will be disappointed when their hair doesn’t come out as fine, curly ringlets like the sultry singer, so I encourage these women to love their hair for what it is. When I decided to go natural I prayed for God to help me to accept my hair for what it was no matter how kinky or curly or nappy it was going to be. I wanted to love my own hair and not desire to have hair like anyone else. When I was transitioning from relaxed to natural hair, I would often look at pictures of natural women for inspiration but I had to be careful to not allow myself to “wish” my natural hair would come out looking like there’s.

An African American woman’s natural hair texture can come out in so many different ways considering our genetic pool is mixed with a variety of races. I believe all natural hair is beautiful whether it is super fine and silky curls or nappy kinky coils. I encourage any woman who is going natural to transform her mind as well during the process. Pray that you accept what God has given you naturally. Going natural has given me an “its mine so I love it” kind of attitude. No ones hair is too nappy to go natural. Go natural and embrace your naps or coils or kinks. Decide that you are going to love YOU no matter what.

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89 Responses to “My Hair Is Too Nappy To Go Natural.”

  1. BlackBeauty January 9, 2012 at 1:04 am

    Sorry, you may be happy to go natural and it works for you, however not for everyone!

    I know/see some black women (men seem to be able to get away with it) who’s “natural” hair is so napped up that it looks and feels like a brillo pad!

    This is not attractive, and mostly these types have a problem with even combing their natural hair, even when well conditioned!

    My advice to those with this hair type is to cut it down very close to your head. It is hurtful to see and hear little black girls screaming/crying from pain while someone tries to run a comb or brush through it. What is so wrong in someone adding a texturizer to one’s hari to make it look better and more easy to comb?

    Some of us feel we are not following our roots unless we go natural, and that is not true. These are the same types who feel that they are somehow more black than others because their hair is “natural”.

    Black women should be able to feel free to do what they want with their hair!

    Again, great that you are happy going natural, but to each his/her own.

    Reply
    • Roslyn Ferguson January 9, 2012 at 1:21 am

      Dear BlackBeauty, you are absolutely right: to each his/her own. There is nothing worse thsn observing a ypung Black child in extreme pain just to get their “done.” So many factors come into play when dealing with Black hair. Long, short, fine, nappy, curly, kinky, etc. Just as long as that d**n jerri curl dosen’t make a come back–its all good!

      Reply
    • blkgalusa January 9, 2012 at 2:19 am

      I agree with you up to a point…Right now, there are so many products on the market for Black hair that yes even the most nappy head can go natural…You just need to find the style for your texture. I do agree that everyone should really be free to wear their hair anyway they choose but for me, natural is my best solution. I have never had a perm on my hair but I have straightened it and it would break so much so I gave that up over 20 years ago thank God. I too pray that the Jerri Curl does not ever come back. But, I truly love my hair natural. Basically, I use a daily hair conditioner that enables me to just wear it natural or sometimes I just wear braids and it gives me a lot of flexibility to do absolutely nothing to my hair and I use my own hair. My hair now is shoulder length. But, people ask me what I use and the products I recommended does not work on all textures but its trial and error. Find something that works for you or just as you said whatever makes that person comfortable and happy because that is what it is truly all about anyway.

      Reply
    • Monica January 9, 2012 at 3:57 pm

      @ BlackBeauty: It’s sad that people still think the way that you do. Hopefully, over time your mind will open and you will realize that there is nothing wrong with natural kinky hair. This article was written for transitioners and those comtemplating going natural. Nothing was said about all Black women should be natural. If someone’s hair is “napped up” (I assume you mean matted together) its because they don’t know how to care for it properly. It’s insulting for you to say that someone who has kinky naps like mine should cut their hair close to their scalp. You really need to open your eyes sister.

      Reply
      • Beverly Colar-Credelle January 9, 2012 at 5:33 pm

        Preach Monica!! I could not have said it better. I have been all natural since 1995. From 1997 to 2009 I wore locks. When I first went natural I did keep my hair cut low because I did not know what to do with it. I went to cosmetology school in 1987-1988 and what I knew about hair care was how to straighten, apply weaves, do cuts, color etc. When it came to the care of natural hair I was clueless. When I decided to lock my hair (at the recommendation of my husband) it was out of pure frustration of what to do with my hair, because I wanted longer hair. Once locked I began to research and read about the care for natural hair. In 2002 I completely switched gears and I launched my home based natural hair care salon. Funny how over the years most of my clients came in for locks or they had the type 3 hair (as I call the grease & water hair… add a little grease or gel then water and slick down). This still did not allow me to work with type 4 hair (like mine) in an unlocked state. In 2008 I dealt with life changes that devastated me and caused my beautiful locks to start falling out and breaking off from stress. I made the decision to cut my beautiful locks off. However, I was back to square one on how to care for my tight kinky coiled type 4 hair. I embraced it with complete LOVE and I prayed to God for guidance. Two years post locks and I love my hair. Although my clients miss my locks they compliment on how lush and healthy my hair is. With God’s guidance I have found products and techniques that work to properly care for my hair type 4. The interesting twist is I now have clients with my hair type that I consult on proper hair care in their natural unlocked state.

        Reply
      • Milagro January 10, 2012 at 3:18 am

        Monica, she’s not saying something is wrong with natural hair. Go back and read what she said. She was simply stating her preference and supporting her views. She didn’t put down natural hair,she did say at the end that if that’s what you wanna do then that’s fine. It’s not like she said “ugh natural hair is for jigaboos and porch monkeys”.

        Reply
        • DaTruth January 11, 2012 at 8:23 pm

          @Milagro:
          Excuse me, but there was nothing positive or right in what Black Beauty wrote about natural black hair. Quite the contrary! Every word of her post indicated self hatred of natural black hair, & probably all things that are black unless altered in some way. How ironic that she would even use the screen name “Black Beauty” when she seems to have such scorn for true natural black beauty. Maybe you should go back & read what she wrote. Your remarks are even more offputting w. ur comments re “jigaboos & porch monkeys’. Those words make me cringe! Why would you even reference those phrases at all in any context! No wonder you don’t see anything wrong or negative re “Black Beauty’s” comments.

          Reply
          • Bri March 2, 2012 at 7:41 pm

            I hope someone reads this…. Black Beauty’s comments were fine up to a point. She went wrong when she said “add a texturizer to make it look better” and “so napped up it looks and feels like a brillo pad… this is unattractive…”

            Who are you to say that natural black hair is unattractive? No matter what the texture, the point is that it is beautiful. It might not conform to your Eurpean standards of beauty that have forced millions of black women to hate themselves and scorn their appearance because they are constantly comparing themselves to white/hispanic/indian women (the media is a LARGE contributor to this phenomenon); but to be clear-that does not indicate that black hair is unattractive. This is the true challenge that black women must face: To stop comparing themselves to other races with easier to manage hair, and fairer skin tones. Until that happens, black women will always be forced to feel bad about themselves.

    • Shahid Raki January 9, 2012 at 5:51 pm

      I’ve often wondered how someone could put so much heat up against their head. That’s what it sounds like to me when a woman describes having had a bad perm or other type of hair work done in a “beauty parlor”. What is the highest temperature setting that a perm or other similar hair treatment can reach? From my mother to other women I know, many have given great details to the scars and other results from having their hair done. I just wonder why take the risk to try and look like somebody else. Have many of us black people started noticing how many white people are wearing their hair in locks? I’ve seen one woman here in Dayton who has locks so long she can just about sit on them. Just like fixing our hair is unnatural, so is locking their hair is unnatural. Makes no sense to me to try and be somebody you’re not.

      Reply
    • Barbara January 10, 2012 at 1:23 am

      jan 9

      I agree Blacks should wear their hair as they see fit. Their are hair untanglers, which I use and it’s great. I have had my hair permed years ago and stopped. Why, because it was flying all ove the place I was losing my hair! I like having it cut down and shaped. It’s less time to wash and I don’t have to fuss with it EVERY night!. Condition it, brush a little and comb!
      WHY is it White woman don’t spend hundreds and thousand of dollars on Afro wigs?
      I haven’t heard of any going to the hair salon asking to have an African style hair!
      I live in a mostly Asian business area. They don’t do Afro American hair, I asked!

      Reply
    • Milagro January 10, 2012 at 3:12 am

      I’m sorry I had to laugh when you said “It is hurtful to see and hear little black girls screaming/crying from pain while someone tries to run a comb or brush through it”. I thought back to that Color Purple scene when Miss Celie was trying to comb Mister’s daughter’s hair.

      Reply
      • fulatasudani May 7, 2012 at 12:37 pm

        When u say traditional african culture which country are u speaking of? Their are 54 different countries on the african continent. Not all african nations have kinky textured hair (i love kinky hair by the way very beautiful in my opinion) nations like ethiopia, somalia, northern sudan, Mauritania all have whats refered to as good hair & shockingly alot of them still use perms and weaves. So i really think its a personal preference how someone chooses to wear their hair.

        Reply
    • jay December 9, 2012 at 7:00 pm

      getting texturizers and relaxers is life threatening. id rather have brilo pad hair than a grave. sorry.

      Reply
  2. Monica January 9, 2012 at 1:32 am

    I have 4c very kinky hair and I can manage my natural hair just fine. The problem with little girls screaming when someone combs their hair is they don’t know the best way to detangle it. Kinky hair should not be combed while dry, only while it is wet with conditioner in it. If mother’s knew this then there wouldn’t be so many little girls in pain. The problem is lack of education on how to care for natural hair, not the hair itself.

    Reply
    • blkgalusa January 9, 2012 at 2:21 am

      Thank you!!!!

      Reply
    • Roslyn Ferguson January 9, 2012 at 7:52 pm

      Thank you!

      Reply
    • Sanday January 10, 2012 at 4:19 pm

      Sooo true. Comb while wet and depending on the hair texture, a little conditioner on it. :)

      Reply
    • DaTruth January 11, 2012 at 8:36 pm

      Monica – u r soooo right! Some of us r so self hating that we can’t see anything that is positive or affirming about anything that is black, & constantly seek to alter our appearance to fit a European std. That to me is what is so painful, sad, & hurtful Milagro; just plain ignorance!

      Reply
    • Uchenna January 7, 2014 at 10:53 am

      Exactly, Monica! I have 4c. Ever since I went natural three years ago, I struggled with my natural hair. My sister used to say that natural hair is not for people like me and her with such coarse texture. The hair is not coarse, it just dries out a lot. But going back to the point, I started adding water before I style it. And it has become so manageable. I even sleep with just a sleeping cap and it works just fine. I wake up and its not matted. Then I add water and oil. I don’t comb it with a comb. I just style it with my hands, dragging it gently from the roots and its perfect.

      If I could go natural and finally learn to take of my hair (if you knew my hair and the process. my hair is that kind of nappy hair) then anyone can.

      Please just do this. Add water. Just add water.

      Reply
  3. ilovenaturalhair January 9, 2012 at 1:51 am

    My hair is 4b and I love it. It is going take most Black women years to undo psychological brainwashing of good/bad hair. Black media doesn’t help our images of hair assa well. When will we as Black consumers start holding our media accountable?

    Reply
    • blkgalusa January 9, 2012 at 2:22 am

      AMEN to that..

      Reply
  4. Neferkare January 9, 2012 at 4:24 pm

    The only alternative to natural is un-natural. The more “nappy” the hair is , the more of the protein keratin it contains which makes the hair spiral like the cosmos. Most animals in nature do not have the protein keratin that human hair has and that is why dogs, rats, monkey and horses have straight hair.

    Reply
  5. Katrina January 9, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    I have permed 4C hair – very thick and very coarse. I currently stretch my perms to 12 weeks with a goal of increasing the length between perms. My wear my hair in braid, twist and roller sets as much as possible. I use natural products to maintain my hair between perms. Another aspect of my life is that I work two jobs. I leave one and go straight to another. Right now, for me, I am maintaining my hair – I’ve learned my permed hair and it is healthy. This is the point I want to make – we should all be concerned about healthy hair. I have three sisters – 1 natural by choice and 2 have alopecia. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can we stop bickering about natural vs perm (which has taken the place of light skinned vs dark skinned) and focus on creating products and marketing ourselves.

    Reply
  6. sanyika January 10, 2012 at 12:05 am

    Sistas step to the plate and shake this white supremencist system in its boots by going natural. If brothers in the NFL can do it and most of them are not coscious or even care about the peoples struggle but they do have long natural hair. Sistas read about traditonal African culture and history before european and arab invaders descended upon the “MOTHERLAND” and you will see that we were/are a beautiful and creative people with our natural hair.STEP UP to the plate and go NATURAL.

    Reply
    • ilovenaturalhair January 11, 2012 at 8:13 pm

      Amen to this!! I see locks in the NFL & marvel at the beauty. Black women, most, want this natural vs perm topic to go away, but it will not. The psychological brainwashing of good hair vs bad hair come from slavery and we must be address those issues that keep most still under bondage. In the 60′s to late 70′s, we started to love our hair, but now most bought the Lye that straight hair equals beauty.

      Reply
    • blkgalusa January 15, 2012 at 2:27 am

      I have for years gone natural and will continue to do so…

      Reply
  7. Ginger Allen January 10, 2012 at 2:31 am

    There are so many wonderful products out here now. I love Carol’s Daughter Monoi shampoo and conditioner. Most of my hair is natural and it keeps it soft, hydrated and supple. I will confess to using a hot comb on the edges, though.

    Reply
    • blkgalusa January 10, 2012 at 2:51 am

      I have not straightened my hair in years but it is absolutely nothing wrong with it if that is what you prefer…But, I have found products that work for me and as I said before, it is trial and error find products that work for you and it will make confident and content. I just got tired of the brainwashing that was done to blacks all these years. I just wanna be me.

      Reply
  8. alicia banks January 10, 2012 at 3:47 am

    this is another tragic example of self hatred

    ie

    the nappier the hair
    the more beautiful the locks

    shame!!!!

    http://www.mydreadlocks.com/reader-dreadlocks-styles-this-lioness-is-locked-for-life.html

    Reply
  9. sanyika January 10, 2012 at 10:46 pm

    i’m with you alicia,the nappier the better.Some sistas like long nappy hair and some like short nappy hair and it’s the same for brothers. Sistas that like long natural hair i have a couple of suggests for you. Firstly, read about African culture and history before european and arab colonization. Traditional African culture is so dynamic,innovative and beautiful that it is mind blowing.Secondly,if you like long natural hair and thats your thing ,ask some of those brothers in the NFL with all of that long natural hair hanging out of their helmets,ask them what are they doing?Finally,check out chris rocks movie “GOOD HAIR”. The enslavement of our ancestors did a number on us psychologically in terms of our African identity.Consequently, we are ashame of our African culture[i.e. our names,african food,clothes and language] we were conditioned to hate our African culture and till this day we are in denial and defensive about african culture when someone that was once ignorant about become aware they are instantly attacked .Some folks are so in love with European culture that they will rationalize why they are that way and will hate on folks that love African culture.Apparently African culture or going natural upsets the sensibilities of some white folks and some black folks too.So if you want the white supremency culture to shake nervously GO NATURAL.

    Reply
    • ilovenaturalhair January 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

      Including arab supremacy in Africa. Not letting them of the hook either. they’re the ones who taught white colonist about hating our features as well. Most still do.

      Reply
    • T.Michelle June 9, 2012 at 6:08 am

      I agree with you 100%….until that last sentence. Even though I’m only 20 I’ve realized that if we want to shake up the “white supremacist culture” then what we should be doing, has little to do with hairstyles and everything to do with education, in our past, present, politics and etc. A person can have the most beautiful nappy hair(or relaxed), and be one of the most ignorant humans you will ever meet. To me, we spend to much time debating what’s the best skin tone, who has the thickest body, what’s the best kind of hair and we forget what truly matters. Now, I know the historical significance of hair, I took African American history ( and I know what they teach in Public School is nothing more than unicorn vomit and rainbows compared to the real story), I’ve listened to the stories from my grandmother and her plight as a black woman in the 30s. But what would really change if every black woman today decided “I’m going to natural.” Not much. I love that you’re passionate about African American beauty, and I love that you want us to embrace ourselves as is, as we were created, I wish I had someone like you around when I was growing up, but I fear that too much weight in something that’s here today and could be gone tomorrow.

      Reply
      • Uchenna January 7, 2014 at 11:39 am

        I believe that a woman’s hair is her crown. Knowing your beauty is so vital to knowing what’s value.

        That’s why we have commercials like Dove telling girls’ their beautiful. Because being ugly means being without worth.

        You hear it all the time, black women are not pretty. A study even said that black women are the ugliest of all women. Do you know how that stings a child.

        You see pictures of black women in the media. And you know the only possible way you could even have her features was to have a white person in your family.

        How can you not see that this is key to our acceptance? Ever since I started seeing women who were natural, I have never seen blacks more beautiful.

        Embracing your beauty is telling the world they were wrong. We are beautifully and wonderfully made. God did not make a mistake.

        I think education and all is all part and parcel of liberation. But I think this is key too. Until we truly accept ourselves, we always look to the other races as better. That we need to change ourselves to look like them to be beautiful.

        Beauty. I’ve never seen something so important to us that we undermine in its importance. We can deny the importance of knowing your beauty. But it’s equated to worth.

        Until young men and women know they are beautifully and wonderfully made, they’ll never truly be satisfied.

        Accepting what grows out of your hair is just the beginning. But without this happening, we will always be missing a piece of the puzzle of the beauty God gave us.

        Reply
  10. Cynthia January 11, 2012 at 6:36 am

    I was tricked by doctors into having a hysterectomy I didn’t need so that they could milk money from the government sponsored Medicare Advantage Plan. I am still in constant pain and cannot get a doctor to treat me. I have even traveled outside the country and since American doctor found out that I was traveling to other countries they have made it impossible for me to get care from doctors in other countries. Can you please help me to get the care I need. I need to have an honest examination by an honest doctor. Thanks CGH

    Reply
    • TruthBTold May 17, 2012 at 1:41 am

      Cythnia,I have no answers for you. I hope someone can help you. I believe your story and it is sad to hear. We have more information available to us through technology, so research and study. When it comes to your health it’s worth it. We all know discrimination is in many important avenues of our life.when you go to a physician or health care,research and go in asking question and giving your opinion as well. You have that right. Also, as I do, keep a health journal. I do this for myself,child, and husband. I write in it every singke day. That way if you see a pattern of something or something unusual research and see a doctor immediately.I know many of us can’t afford a descent doctor so we go to the Nuts and
      receive unfair and biased treatment. This is why I hope to see a day where many African American physicians who love us and care for us come and live and help build our communities and bring our children and adults health conscious to the highest degree.

      Reply
  11. kikisf March 10, 2012 at 10:53 pm

    combing hair wet with conditioner might be alright for some but my hair tangles and dreads the instant it touches water. mine needs to be braided during washing and conditioning. Everyone’s hair is different! what I am most concerned about is judging a woman by her hair. We don’t know what a woman’s lifestyle needs/wants mandate. I personally have the kind of hair that takes 8-10 hours to do on a wash day. Some women don’t have that kind of time to do hair, some have arthritis and can’t do twisting and braiding, some need a hairstyle that can handle swimming every other day. i can’t wait for the day that our hair is no longer a political battleground. maybe that day will never come but i can hope.

    Reply
  12. Doonchee April 6, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    Don’t die trying to look white. love what God gave you

    Reply
  13. gunzNrozes April 16, 2012 at 12:16 am

    well i enjoy all of the input on different points of hair care and preferences, but personally, i wish the old hairdresser were still here. The ones that did the wash (natural) the hair, then blow dry, and press and curl those old fashion hairdo’s. All the hairsalons are perming and tracking etc.

    Reply
  14. Proud2BeBlack June 9, 2012 at 4:30 am

    Dear, BlackBeauty
    The whole idea of straightening or relaxing your hair came from black women wanting to emulate the white woman’s image. If you go back to the slave days, slave masters’ wives were so jealous of an Afro-American woman with their natural hair, that if you were alive, you had the option to either cut your hair, or have the white man whip or shoot you to death.

    Power to the People.

    Reply
  15. Proud2BeBlack June 9, 2012 at 4:32 am

    Oh yeah..by the way..you should study your TRUE black history. Not that B.E.T noise.

    Reply
  16. Proud2BeBlack June 9, 2012 at 4:49 am

    @ilovenaturalhair and nefarke
    Respect for the knowledge.

    Reply
  17. Juli Christensen June 19, 2012 at 5:05 am

    I just stumbled upon this site and am hoping some of you might be able to help me. I am white. I have ten kiddos…5 bio, 5 adopted. 8 girls…4 white with long hair…4 black…3 from Ethiopia with what I gather is called “good” hair. And 1 amazingly beautiful, tall, thin, strong, smart, dark, dark black princess. She has the tightest, kinkiest type hair. From what I’ve learned it’s a 4c. She is from Sierra Leone. In our adoption process we had to move to SL to complete her brother’s adoption (her biological brother). While we lived there, I learned how to “do” hair the way it was done in country. This country has no electricity or running water, but you wouldn’t believe the packages of synthetic hair! Anyway, my struggle is how to help my daughter with her hair as she grows. She is 9. We have never used chemicals on her hair. I have always kept it in braids or twists, but they always have to have extra hair added to them or they won’t stay in. They end up frizzing and fuzzing up and coming loose. Her hair is maybe four inches long when stretched out, but is really only an inch or so off her head. She HATES having her hair short. Her hair has never been chopped and she thinks if she keeps growing it one day it’ll be long. I don’t think so, I am careful to not break it, but it breaks off super easily the longer it gets. In SL they said if she wants it thicker she should shave it. I just couldn’t do that to her…she’d hate me, so we didn’t. We also live in northern minnesota…our family is THE diversity in our town. There are no salons, and all the products have to be ordered via the internet. She’d love to wear a huge afro like her Ethiopian sisters can, but hers looks more like a helmet despite conditioning, picking, etc. So we do extensions, wigs, yarn braids, etc. I don’t know how to do a weave that doesn’t look home done. Should we be happy with this? Is there a way to wear her hair that doesn’t require all the extra fuss? Are there products we are missing? Should we use chemicals and relax it? Would that cause it to break more? It isn’t very long, so if we relax it, won’t it look super short and still require extensions to make it longer? Help! There is a video she made for school about her hair on utube if that helps….http://youtu.be/Clp9u03YaWc thanks!

    Reply
    • Sol Do Caribe August 25, 2012 at 5:27 pm

      Hi,
      Very nice video. Very beautiful family.

      I would recommend you do not put a relaxer in her hair. Let her make that choice when she is much much older, she will thank you for that. You are not missing any products. Natural hair is beautiful, but sometimes the natural hair links on the internet go over board on products people need to use in their hair to keep their natural and beautiful. I say keep it simple and you cannot go wrong. For starters I have a whatever type african hair (I find the labeling system 3c, 4a or whatever) ridiculous. I have caribbean roots so my hair is not exactly like your daughters but I think we have about the same problems. I will share with you what seems to have worked for me and I hope it can be helpful for you.

      Shampoo: I would first make sure you are using sulfate free shampoo there are a lot of them on the market now that are inexpensive (l’oreal, the body shop when they have sales) although I particularly like the Moroccan Oil moisturizing one because it smells nice (sulfate free shampoos tend to have a medicine like) and it is very mild (I can untangle my hair with it and not have to use conditionner) but it is expensive. I would not shampoo her hair more than once a week or every other week unless her routine activities (swimming or running for example) put her in contact with chlorine or sweat. In the winter you can wash even less.

      Conditionners: use moisturizing conditioners, (I would stay away from leave in they are not moisturizing enough) always untangle her hair wet with conditioners (or with Moroccan oil shampoo) rinse some of the excess conditionner out especially if you had to put a lot to untangle. (The body shop has a line of conditioners that are very good without parabens, silicone, sulfates and don’t smell too bad) Remove excess water then use the same moisturizing conditionner as a hair butter and make a crop of braids (10-15 or 20 or more if you have time). It’s ok that you are leaving regular conditionner in her hair, with time you will see what the right amount should be. Try not to bread to tight around the front and back (a lot of people who use braids a lot get something called traction alopecia and sometimes the hair never grows back) and use a little bit more of the conditionner for fly aways. The conditionner should let the hair stay put. And she should be ready to go. You can do the braids at night and put a hair net so it does not slow you down in the morning before school. You can use colorful barrettes or beads to decorate or simply let it be. If not and the braids come out you can use a very tiny amount of hair wax (any brand) at the very end/tip of the hair to make it stay. I would avoid rubber bands as they tend to tie up in hair however careful you may try to be. Now if her hair is too short for you to braid well you can leave it as an afro (the conditionner will help make it shiny and soft especially because you are not rinsing it ou), or use some elastic bands that are smooth to make several small hair puffs. Do not tie the bands to tight to avoid traction and breakage. Over time her hair should grow enough to make braids. I would give her a break of synthetic hair to allow her own hair to grow and be less pulled and stretched, but from your video it seems that she really likes those so I don’t know if she would agree not to have extensions for a while.

      The braids should last is a nice way for at least 2-3 days, you may have to redo the front braids.
      And you can use the same moisturizing conditionner to redo, or freshen up the braids. When you undo her braids 2-3 days later, just “cowash” with conditionner. That is wet her hair, add conditionner, untangle, rinse. Then you use the conditionner to braid her hair.

      You may notice that I am only talking about 2 products well 3 if you need to use wax. There are a lot of additional products out there oils, butters, creams, this, that, they may or may not work, I have tried a bunch and watched many video testimonies but what I found that has worked for me is using gentle washing products (sulfate free) and conditioning often is usually enough, especially if you have 8 kids and you are running around. Now if she has extra dry scalp by using sulfate free shampoo you will notice that it will be less dry and if if it still too dry that you can use some oil on her scalp at night and that should be enough. With time you will see if you need to do it once a week or more or less frequently.

      Your daughter will find that there are other ways to have her hair without wigs and synthetics that are just as nice and beautiful. Like when you undo her braids, her hair will have cool patterns and you can just leave it like that, don’t comb trough and there she has a different style for the day. She can do a puff in the front and let loose on the back or wear a head band etc… for the day then at night wet and cowash. And as her hair grows she will find more interesting things to do with it as in different ways to braid it style it etc…

      By the way the sulfate free products will be beneficial to everyone in the family…
      Hope this helps.

      Reply
    • Valerie February 10, 2013 at 7:51 am

      Hello,

      First, kudos to you for being so sensitive to your beautiful daughter’s hair care needs.
      One natural hair alternative that you may want to consider is sisterlocks. SL’s are a trademarked locking system, where a small tool is used to interlock the hair, forming very small locks. Your daughter’s hair growth potential would be limitless and she would be able to curl and style her hair without using practically any products! You can go to http://www.sisterlocks.com to see pictures and learn more.

      Reply
  18. Carolyn Marshall July 29, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    When dealing with very tightly coiled hair, use your fingers to pull the hair apart. Never use the combs that are used for straight hair.If you do, hair will be in b***s on the floor. I have tightly curled hair that can be worn in any style known to black women. I choose “locks”. A baldheaded woman would want my hair.

    Reply
  19. Letitia Lindsey July 29, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    This is sad, another way to divide black women and it’s working. Our hair is magnificent, we can wear it with our natural curl, straight, in an afro or flowing with curls. Instead of appreciating our differences, we pass judgement on each other. And sites like this love to see us bicker back and forth.

    Reply
  20. John H Hill July 30, 2012 at 12:58 am

    As a child, I endured much anguish over my parents, friends, school mates, play mates, comments about my BAD hair. I tried loads of pomades to no avail. It took a third of a lifetime for me to realize that I was just being tormented by ignorance. I am now liberated because most of my hair is gone. Good riddance!!!

    Reply
  21. Reader July 30, 2012 at 1:12 am

    Hi Juli,

    I have hair like your daughter from Sierra Leone. I suggest
    1. Keep using natural products on her hair – some of the chemical treatments end up damaging and breaking our hair
    2. Hair should grow a little bit every month, she should try to grow her hair into an afro (because this is what her hair texture tends towards) The other hairstyles are problematic because her hair texture if left alone would grow into an afro. The longer her afro gets, the more styling options she will have later – patience!
    3. I use jojoba oil to condition my hair and I do not use a brush on my hair only an Afro pick (google this to see one)

    Reply
    • Sol Do Caribe August 25, 2012 at 5:31 pm

      July I agree with the above reader. I wanted to stress avoiding hair brush and using wide tooth afro pick instead is way faster to untangle and better on the hair.

      Reply
  22. Sarah London August 7, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    I have been tryin grow my hair out for the last 3 years. And was consistently getting breakage. I have black kinky hair. I also use a relaxer which I will NOT give up. Anywho, this past winter I had the most breakage in the crown area, so that if I pull my hair up it looks like a crown. Shallow in the center and long around the hairline. So I bought the Shielo VOLUME Collection out of desperation. And as one last go around before I get the clippers. But the VOLUME Shampoo and VOLUME Conditioner work! My hair less of my hair is falling out. And it just feels better after. Some of their products did not work so good on my hair, like the Shielo HYDRATE Mist. But the VOLUME regimen does work! Loyal customer here.

    Reply
  23. janet December 3, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    Why do some people that go natural think they are all that? If my hair was as nappy as some, I would not go natural. I can’t stand seeing kids or adults with nappy beady knots they call hair. That is why they make straighten combs and relaxers.

    Reply
  24. janet December 3, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    Black beauty, I hear you girl. These same ones that go natural are same ones quick to question me. Minute I go natural with my Halle berry type hair. First question is what did I put in it or am I mixed or Spanish. So some of you need to stop. Yes I relax my hair because its mines and I’m being myself. Etc we have to be imitating ugly azz white women when we wear weave or relaxers?

    Reply
  25. hairporn December 18, 2012 at 12:05 am

    Ok, the bickering has got to end…natural hair is beautiful but so is some relaxed hair. I relax my hair and have been for the past 20 years but it wasn’t until last year that I actually learned my hair and how to take care of it. The thing with natural hair “Nazis” is that they feel that they are somehow more black and therefore going back to their roots because they are natural. If you want to be classified as natural; be natural and not just have natural hair. Eat organic, don’t use chemicals at all (including processed foods) don’t shave your legs, build your own house using only natural products. See ridiculous right? I’m sorry it is just hair! Lets find a cure to Breast Cancer. Lets educate our young on safe s*x and HIV. Im done.

    Reply
  26. tweety January 13, 2013 at 3:06 am

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    Reply
  27. Mureille February 2, 2013 at 3:57 pm

    These comments…are absolutely…DISGUSTING.

    Reply
  28. john February 3, 2013 at 10:41 pm

    Hello everyone, I would just like to say that I agree with everyone up to this point, and I want for all African Americans to realize that we can do so much with our hair that other races can’t do, and they will try to tell us different to keep us from loving ourselves simply because allot of whites wish to be just like us but they wont tell you that. Allot of races wish they was built like us and had nice shinny hair like us, and can do so many styles with our hair. We have the most beautiful skin and the most softest most shininess Skin and hair on earth and the largest dicks, and the best v****a in the world. But the point is wear your hair natural or straight either way think of it as this we can do anything with our hair that other races can’t do.

    Reply
  29. nini February 10, 2013 at 1:55 am

    Some people deep down- think tightly coiled hair is ugly. Its so embedded in them they dont even notice when they expose it. Course, deeply coiled hair has the right to grow out- a woman does not have to CUT IT OFF- to appease brainwashed people. black hair is amazing- its various and its unique. embrace it. you were born with it. For those who want to wear it straight, you can even do that without perming. Its about health and restoration of the black woman’s beauty. I encourage that- but at the end of it all- its a personal decision.

    Reply
  30. nini February 10, 2013 at 2:03 am

    wow.(just read a few of these comments) why are some of you wanna-be-white women even on here? if you feel black hair is so “beady” and “ugly” and thats why there are straightening combs- etc…why come on a site that promotes these napps you so dread? keep it moving with your burining CHEMICAL scalps, I feel sorry for you when they stop making that mess and your forced to see what you really look like. lol! half of you will probably commit suicide. And when the Indian women decide to keep their hair on their heads- guess you’ll skin a cat. LOL! since you want to talk rude. buying your hair out a store. smh.

    Reply
  31. Carolyn M. February 10, 2013 at 8:54 am

    Natural hair requires the same maintenance as other hairstyles — shampooing, conditiioning, combing, brushing etc.

    Reply
  32. Latrice February 11, 2013 at 2:14 am

    First off: Juli couldn’t find any white children to adopt? Instead of arguing with each other about hair, maybe we should try paying attention to these other races snatching our kids right from under us. Why is it that women who wear their hair natural think they are more black than anyone who doesn’t. Your hair has nothing to do with self hatred or loving yourself. We all have different tastes, so quite naturally our hair will reflect that. We are not a monolithic group. We have different thoughts, different tastes, different lifestyles, different speech patterns. How about just embracing each other instead of finding foolishness to squabble over.

    Reply
    • Mommy1 February 25, 2013 at 3:22 pm

      I am shocked at your comment. If you are that concerned of who should adopt who please state how many children of any race that you have adopted? I have once thought like you however after having a daughter it breaks my heart to think of any child that would have to live in the conditions that this young lady had to endure. If someone of any race with a pure heart provides a child a safe haven who are you to ask such a question. I applaud this family for being willing to show that the love of Jesus goes beyond nationality and extends to the one race that is the human race, therefore black, white, etc. should have no place in determining who we share our love with.

      Reply
  33. Latrice February 11, 2013 at 2:18 am

    Another thing, a lot of black women I know who wear their hair natural date white men. What does this say about them? Do they love their blackness or don’t they? I’m saying that to say this: to assume someone doesn’t love their own culture based on something so superficial is just stupidity

    Reply
  34. Lee February 25, 2013 at 10:57 am

    Until Black Women learn to see the beauty in their own natural hair, and stop desiring to have hair like that of White women, they will never be truly comfortable and happy with themselves.

    Reply
  35. Faith March 5, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    Ladies and gentlemen dialogue is good and we as adults can “disagree without being disagreeable. I have read most of the comments and must say that a lot of us have different takes on the whole natural versus relaxer, weaves etc. I am sure a lot of that has to do with age and life experience! I too have had natural hair as a child minus the beady b***s ( just joking) relaxer at my instance as a teenager and natural again later on in my 20′s. So as most I do see both sides. I enjoy the banter back and forth but just do not understand the hostility that this topic brings? As a cosmetologist for the last 25 yrs I feel the most important thing is healthy hair. Can we agree on that at least? As far as the Geri curl is concerned if it is done right it can be gorgeous. The problem is and I can say this openly a lot of cosmetologist did not know how to do them properly. I am sure I will get some flack for saying that and I am ok with that. That whole sleeping with the plastic bag was nonsense. It was marketing and bad marketing at that. The right sized rod for the right length hair. All that drippy gooey mess in the hair was not necessary. It was marketing. The hair did need moisture because of the type of chemical it was. It was a thio relaxer which is very drying. By the way I do wear my hair natural today and yes, I am married to a Caucasian gentleman. :-)

    Reply
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  37. Jay Jones March 6, 2013 at 1:27 am

    I love nappy hair on my woman. It’s turns me on. I think many of us worship that televison too much. Network T.V. intentionally omits dark complected women. And it only seems to present natural hairstyles in a negative context. It bombards us with images of every type of woman except the Nubian. It’s obvious to me that somebody doesn’t want us to love our own women. I found it easy to let Network T.V. go because I don’t see the type of women I desire there.

    Reply
  38. britney April 13, 2013 at 10:26 am

    I think the natural look is good if it suits you and you are happy within yourself. I have friends who like to mix it up and do both, so each to their own i say.

    Reply
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  40. Mary May 9, 2013 at 10:04 am

    Wow….So many comments. I don’t see anything wrong with texturizers,relaxers or being natural, it is an individual choice. I am all natural now but I use to get relaxers and texturizers. I stopped getting relaxers because my scalp couldn’t handle it any more. During my transition, I wore wigs. When you haven’t dealt with your natural hair for so long it can be challenging. There are still days I think maybe a texturizer because I work out every morning and sweat so much. There is so much information in the internet that can help but some of it is garbage. It takes time a patience to relearn how to take care of your hair without chemicals. But women who want to put chemicals in their hair, more power to them. There isn’t a right or wrong way to wear your hair, just your way.

    Reply
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  43. LetsBeReal August 10, 2013 at 8:42 am

    It’s so easy to advocate or recommend that all Black women go natural – when YOU are the person with naturally wavy or curly hair. Some Black women like myself are not so lucky. In addition, the majority of the products on the market are tailored to women with these hair types, not those with kinky-nappy hair like myself. I am proud of my Black heritage, but I also want to look attractive and like what I see in the mirror each morning. I couldn’t put enough coconut oil in my hair to achieve soft hair unless I have relaxer. That’s my lot in life and I just have to deal with it. But if one more person with “good hair” YES I SAID IT – tells me that I SHOULD go natural…………..I’m going to go POSTAL!

    Reply
    • GiPerry September 12, 2013 at 11:00 pm

      @LetsBeReal, you are so right. A majority of these natural products are geared toward the curly/wavy types and not toward the kinky nappy and I feel like I do not look attractive with this nappy hair. I got talked about as a child all the way up until I was 18. My hair was much healthier when I was getting it relaxed and so tired of the good hair people berating anyone who is not natural. Its a personal choice so everyone natural needs to stop putting down people who are not

      Reply
    • BWilliams October 4, 2013 at 2:36 pm

      The thing is you are attractive who told you, you weren’t. A white girl? The hair that YOU GROW, isnt good enough, please answer, because I seriously want to know your thought?

      Reply
    • Uchenna January 7, 2014 at 11:12 am

      I understand what you’re saying, but I have to say that I have that kind of hair. That kinky type of hair. I’m not even kidding. My sister once told me that natural hair wasn’t for people like me or her with kinky, nappy, shrinky hair.

      All of those terms that sound so bad to the ear. But now, I’ve come love it. I’ve been natural for three years. The first two you could say was a bit of a horror, lots of trial and error. I didn’t even know of youtube videos by then. I cut my hair unevenly. I made mistakes with heat. So many mistakes.

      But I am learning. I don’t want people to make the same mistakes I made. I feel like if the generation before us had preserved the knowledge of taking care of natural hair, we wouldn’t be in this predicament we’re in.

      But there is one thing I think is great for people with my hair texture (the 4c type): and that’s water. Water. Water. Water. Water.

      Yes, water. The same thing that is terrible for permed hair. Water is the moisture for our hair. And oil is the concealer – to seal the water from evaporating.

      Ever since I started adding water, it’s become a blessing to manage. Everyday, I add water before I handle my hair.

      I don’t comb. I hand comb my hair. Even white people with curly hair resort to wide tooth comb because regular combs are not suitable for curly hair. Now imagine our super curly hair.

      I don’t comb my hair with regular combs. I hand comb it. I gentle drag it from its root (water is in it, remember) and I get a mini afro. Really cute.

      At night, I sleep with a sleeping cap. No twists. No nothing. I used to twist my hair every week, ’cause I didn’t know how to sleep with my hair at night. Now I just use a sleeping cap. I don’t moisturize it at night (in the morning I do) and I wake up and it’s fine.

      In the morning, I repeat the process. Water first. Slightly drag from the root to open the hair up. Add oil while dragging my hands through the hair from the roots. And that’s it.

      I sometimes tap the hair down if the afro looks uneven. But that’s it.

      I don’t really watch youtube videos, because they don’t work for me. I try and I try and it doesn’t work.

      I am a person that believes that God didn’t make a mistake when he created us. I don’t believe in too much products because I believe God already placed the basic things our hair needs all around us. It amazes me to know that the only thing my hair needed to become manageable was around me all along —- Water.

      Reply
  44. BWilliams October 4, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    I just have a questioned so basically you are saying that, the hair you were born with you should be ashamed. I’m not quite getting the concept?Seriously?So what exactly is bad about nappy hair? O let me guess you weak minded and let other races put you down. Do you guys notice that were the only race in the world that has hair like ours, like man some people are really closed minded. I mean my hair is thick, and so if perm goes away one day I should hate myself and then off myself because, I wouldn’t be pretty anymore because I can’t live with how my hair naturally grows. No offense but there is no explanation needed, natural hair is what you are, stop eing weak-minded and stand up for your race before it’s too late.

    Reply
  45. Charisma Boyd October 7, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    I’m a 15yr old teen that wants to go natural and all I got to say is that I love my black culture and I don’t give a d**n for what all y’all stupid b*****s that want to be white say.like y’all love y’all permed hair and s**t.Stop trying to be another race and love your black heritage remember white folks ain’t da only ppl in da world so stop b******g and love ur natural hair because nappy hair is da best n da world.don’t let me hear no radical s**t from y’all dumb b*****s no mo.

    Reply
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  47. RG408 December 9, 2013 at 2:33 pm

    Wow! There are some really judgmental (& some just plain ignorant) comments on here! That’s sad :-/ You can & should love your hair, whether it’s relaxed, natural, short, long, blonde, whatever. It should be whatever you feel comfortable with. You shouldnt be “bullied” into transitioning into natural hair or criticized because you get perms. Natural hair may not be for everyone, but neither is permed hair. Just do YOU. Some comments on here did offer some good advice though. You just have to weed thru the BS comments to get to them unfortunately. :-/

    Reply
    • Uchenna January 7, 2014 at 11:26 am

      I believe that natural hair is for everyone. I’m sorry.

      I’m not going to go to the girl with naturally brunette hair and tell her brunnette is not for everyone. And for the girl who dyes her hair blonde, while it might fit her, I thinks its odd to tell her that maybe being brunette was not for her.

      Your natural hair is for you. It doesn’t matter what it looks like or whether some other style would look fine on you. But just like the girl who dyes her hair blonde, while it looks good on her, she would look fine too with her naturally brunette hair.

      Whatever you’re born with will fit you. I don’t believe the c**p that some people are not fit for natural hair! What!!!! That’s c**p. Every human being is good enough to carry on what they naturally have.

      And women in their natural hair look so beautiful. I have never seen a person in natural hair that I didn’t feel oh my gosh, where did that beauty come from. But I have seen women in permed hair that is so flat, it doesn’t do their physical appearance any justice. What’s the point having long hair that is so flat, it barely even exists.

      Instead have short hair but thick that it can surround your face and bring out your beautiful features.

      Be natural, people. Please just try it once and you’ll be surprised.

      I have a dream that one day every black woman will dorn her african hair. I have a dream that every moment I see a black woman, I will thank God for the diversity he gave us in beauty. I have a dream of a day when young girls don’t have to wait until perm day to feel beautiful. I have a dream.

      Can we just take a second to think. Can this dream come true? And is this dream really that bad? If so, why? Do you really believe that God can make a bad product. Do you really believe our African ancestors did not know the art of taking care of natural hair. That they used perm?

      I have a dream. That’s all I can say.

      Reply
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    Reply
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