Should You Get Your Partner’s Approval Before Going Natural?

by Chime Edwards, BlackLikeMoi.com

You can ask a man to describe his ideal woman and he will likely spit out the most vivid and detailed description. Usually, natural hair is not mentioned. This could be why so many women are so apprehensive to go natural; many fear that their lovers will hate their new ‘do. With that being said, should a woman get her significant other’s approval before doing the big chop?


Chime Edwards is a native of West Point, MS and attended Rust College in Holly Springs, MS where she majored in Mass Communications. In her spare time, Chime enjoys posting videos about natural hair care on her YouTube channel for over 26,000 subscribers.

20 Comment

  1. Most of this should be determined by how long or how deep the relationship. The core of the issue is how comfortable we are with ourselves. It is unfortunate many of us do not embrace our natural hair and features. I also find it odd that many African women straighten their hair. Relationships are hard to come by especially good ones. I personally prefer natural hair and have not dated for quite some time because I have not found a woman with whom I am compatible with, which would include natural hair.

  2. I believe that you even think this topic is worthy of a discussion makes us look very sad as a people. Have we gone so far away from who we are that we have to see being our natural selves as a discussion, and get permission from our significant other to go natural. I also do not believe that you are giving men credit, that is speaking from a woman who has always worn my hair natural, I get compliments and men seem to like it. Regardless, if a man cannot accept me for who I am naturally then he is not the one for me.

  3. This is not a sad conversation to have. The whole issue with natural hair stems from slave mentality. We must know our past, not just the words, before we can move forward…

  4. i have had natural hair for years. On stage 8 shows the past 2 weeks—people pay big money to look and listen to me, it ain’t a accident either. In my ’50s now, and getting marriage proposals. From younger men.
    Quit w/ this poor mouth already. Free yo’ — and your mind might recover from the hydroxide poisoning.

  5. If he wants to leave because she decided to go natural then how about let him go. He can buy a wig if he likes long hair. What the heck!? Her hair does not indicate how much she’s worth. Get over the foolishness folks. It’s still an issue with us. So ridiculous.

  6. I have seen this topic on several natural blog sites. A lot of women have said they’ve had to deal with this. It’s a topic worthy of being discussed.

  7. First: are we talking a boyfriend, boothang, or husband?…lol. so many different levels

    Second, In my own personal experience, i’d always dabbled with the idea of going natural for years but didnt because i loved weave too much and not really knowing what my bf at the time would think. I finally made my decision to do so and i gave him a “hey im going natural” maybe 2-3 months in advance. He wasnt feeling it at all. My thoughts were, well do you love the hair or do you love me? Any hoo, I chopped my hair off in October of last year and for about 3weeks (i counted) he was completely removed emotionally, physically, etc. Needless to say it blew up into an arguement. I did NOT enjoy my TWA period at all! No compliments from the bf brought my self-esteem way down and insecurities were starting to rise. Like not even complimenting my cute shoes let alone my hair or how i looked. I had to build myself up for the most part. Over time things worked out once i found crochet braids(some length/long hair). Needless to say the r’ship didnt work out. not just because of the hair though.
    I did a second big chop in November and I LOVE MY TEENCH WEENCHY afro! its even shorter than the first time! From what i’ve seen, heard, and experienced, most men like women with long straight hair. thats fine. However, if you choose to love me, you choose to love me and all of my creative, whimsical tangents i venture off on from time to time. Dont put your mate in a box or make them feel that they arent able to express themselves, if so you’ll soon understand why the caged bird sings…

  8. When I went natural my boyfriend was totally against it. I mean, it really was a big deal. He said he didn’t like the way that natural hair looked. We had a loooong conversation about why I wanted to go natural. I went ahead with the process and he became more and more open to it. Now he loves my hair! Most African Americans are apprehensive about natural hair (which is why only a small percentage of us women are natural). Until very Black woman and man learn to accept natural hair, information needs to be put out there. I liked the article.

  9. oh! but to answer the question:

    Lovers approval: No
    Boyfriends approval: is it leading anywhere?
    Husband’s approval: seek a compromise

  10. wow, I didn’t know that this was actually an issue lol…. I believe that if a men love you he should not care how you decide to do you hair, as long as you take care of your hair. Im a black women that also wants to go natural but I love straightening and curling my hair, plus I have a mild perm in my hair just so I can manage my hair a lil better. When I told my husband i wanted to go natural, he said go ahead lol… im the the one that’s stopping myself. If i do go natural im gonna wait until my hair grows at least to my ear, without a perm touch-up, to finally cut all my hair that’s permed. thats going to be hard but i’ve done it before, just never truly kept my hair natural. I’ve always pressed and curled my hair. I’ve seen BEAUTIFUL natural hairstyles on youtube that I want done to my hair. I just need the courage to actually do it. I just feel like once i go natural im gonna have the urge to want to put a pressing comb and perm back into my hair before I can really and truly appreciate my natural hair.

  11. Natural hair is great I went natural a year ago and I love it!!!!!!!

  12. What is it with niggers and hair

    • If you don’t like this topic why are you even here? And furthermore you have the intelligence of a horse’s ass.


    • You also have the intelligence of a horse’s ass.

  14. I find it odd that racists will come here and make negative comments. I wonder how they even came to this website in the first place? They must have nothing better to do than to search for sites catered to black people and make negative comments or they make actually have a secret fascination with black people.

  15. Two things. One, I get the feeling that the two “contributors” before this one about this topic are, most likely, non-Blacks. These are those who would like the idea of Black people being themselves, not to come to manifestation, as indeed is the case.
    Secondly, the sporting of non-natural hair by most wanna-be Blacks suggests a strong rejection of who they truly are, which can impede self empowerment, and self improvement – which I think are the two most important elements of Black people’s seeming backwards and self-inflicted intimidation.
    Chemicals used to strighten hair, is without a doubt, a booming industry, which Blacks themselves contribute significantly to it’s revyying up. At the recieving end of the proceeds from such an industry, are quite obviously, non-Blacks. And so it’s easy to understand the rantings, ravings, and the sheer disgust which people like these negative contributors would feel if Blacks can look inwards and assert that God, indeed, did not make a mistake when He created Black people.

  16. I don’t care for or want anyone’s approval for what I do with the hair on MY head. Started dating my bf with relaxed hair, one day I decided forget this and cut my hair. He had no issues whatsoever with what I did. He can cut it, highlight, curl, gel it whatever and it’s not my place to say anything other than if I like it or when IF and or WHEN he asks.

  17. Permission? What is she a plantation slave to her man or “significant other”? What century are you living in to even ask if a woman needs to get her man’s “permission” like she is a small child or something. Anyway, if he really likes her/loves her, it should matter to him how she wears her hair as long as she keeps her hair clean. WOW . . . “need his permission.”

  18. The racists trying on this site cause they searched for us on Google. Anyway I’m natural but I wear my hair straight . I go the Dominican to get it straight so if you like it straight you can be natural and straight

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